Good Morning, Friends, and Neighbors...
Well, cloudy and 52º....a regular heat wave...
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Early sunrise......
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Then later.......
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You better listen...!!
She can be mean.....
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There is a pole kitty under there......
I can smell it.....
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Man...what a bunny......
He does need big carrots......
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Don't play poker with this guy....
He'll take all your money....
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I don't believe you.......
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I don't either......
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This guy must had loved his computer....
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The Divorce Ring??
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Redneck wood seller......
Want to buy some....
☺5
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♥♥♥
~~ Dear Kids,
Santa Claus is your mummy and daddy.
Regards,
Julian Assange
Wikileaks.org
p.s. Happy Christmas!
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~~ “Now there are more overweight people in America than
average-weight people.
So overweight people are now average.
Which means you've met your New Year's resolution.
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~~ The woman said to her beautician as she sat down for her
appointment, "When you're finished with me, will my
husband think I'm beautiful?"
"Maybe," replied beautician, "does he still drink a lot?"
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~~ A woman pulls over at the gas station, gets out of her car,
opens the hood, and checks the engine oil.
After a few seconds of intelligent thinking,
she takes a dipstick in her hand and, raising her chest high,
walks up to the attendant:
"Excuse me sir, but can I buy a longer dipstick?"
"May I ask why you need a longer one ma'am?"
"Because this one isn't long enough to reach the oil!!"
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~~ Our Lamaze class included a tour of the pediatric wing
of the hospital.
When a new baby was brought into the nursery,
all the women tried to guess its weight,
but the guy standing next to me was the only male to venture
a number.
"Looks like 9 pounds," he offered confidently.
"This must not be your first," I said.
"Oh, yes," he said. "It's my first."
"Then how would you know the weight of a baby?" I asked.
He shrugged......... "I'm a fisherman."
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~~ The bank robbers arrived just before closing and promptly
ordered the few remaining depositors, the tellers, clerks, and
guards to disrobe and lie face down on the floor,
behind the counter.
One nervous blonde pulled off all her clothes and lay down
on the floor facing upwards.
"Turn over, Cindy," whispered the girl lying beside her.
"This is a stick-up,... not an office party!"
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~~ When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in
Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read,
"It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you."
The company thought that the word "embarazar"
(to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read:
"It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant"
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~~ Our anniversary was approaching,
so when my husband told me that he had booked a
"tee" time for Sunday at 10 a.m., I was delighted.
"Tea at the Empress Hotel, how lovely!" I exclaimed.
The look on his face was priceless as he quickly ran to
the phone to make the reservation.
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~~ Sean Connery was delighted to land the role of
secret service agent James Bond in 'Dr. No',
the first film in the classic series.
He and the producers were less delighted, however,
by the title chosen for the film's release in Japan:
"We Don't Want a Doctor".
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~~ Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped
animal has to buy the license.
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~~ A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl.
One day she told him that the next day was her birthday.
He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses...
one for each year of her life.
That evening he called the local florist and ordered
twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered
first thing the next morning.
As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that
since the young man was such a good customer,
he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.
The fellow never did find out what made the young girl
so angry with him.
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Todays Thought: A wise man should never argue with a fool! .... Bystanders will not know which is which.
Quit yer braggin Gus!!!:)C
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