Good Morning, Friends and neighbors.....
Well, the snow is over for us..
clear and windy and cold....
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"Sam", Arty's Husky is disappointed.. he would have
liked to had more snow......
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"Murphy" could care less either way...
He's a laidback kinda guy.....
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That would kinda make you mad as ell !
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Yep...they will light you up....
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Gonna turn left I see......
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Don't mess with the cat.....
How many times do I have to tell you?
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I don't know??
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Nice looking wooden car...
I wonder how it will hold up.....
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Under ground garage??
I wonder if my pickup will fit?
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♥♥♥
~~ Pete walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.
When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, then Pete started to leave.
"S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what
Pete had done.
"What was that all about?"
"Nothing," said the Pete, "my wife just sent me out for
a jar of olives."
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~~ His wife had just bought a new line of expensive
cosmetics absolutely guaranteed to make her looks years
longer.
She sat in front of the mirror for what had to be hours applying
the "miracle" products.
Finally, when she was done, she turned to her husband and
said, "Honey, honestly now, what age would you say I am?"
He nodded his head in assessment, and carefully said,
"Well, judging from your skin, twenty.
Your hair, eighteen.
Your figure, twenty-five."
Feeling flattered, the wife sighed, "Oh, you're so sweet!"
To which the husband replied, "Well, hang on ...
I'm not done adding it up yet."
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~~ Overheard in a doctor's office as a receptionist spoke to
an obviously hard-of-hearing patient:
"No Mrs. James, not the HEARSE, I'm sending the NURSE."
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~~ Winston lost his ear in a work-related accident.
Luck would have it that it was replaced, with a pig's ear,
by doctors.
They cut it to size and made it look more human before
sewing it, invisibly, in place.
Several weeks passed before Winston felt it necessary to
return to his surgeons.
When he did, Winston complained bitterly,
'Doctor, I keep hearing this noise and its doing my head in. '
The doctor, totally unconcerned answered,
'Don't worry, its just a bit of crackling.'
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~~ Sarah Palin is getting into the Christmas spirit.
Today, she shot a partridge in a pear tree.
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~~ The custom of Santa eating cookies on Christmas Eve
originated in Germany where trees were decorated with fruit,
flowers, and sweet confections.
After leaving gifts for good children, he'd simply help himself
to the goodies on the tree.
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~~ My busy mother sometimes accidentally left pots and
pans on the stove with the burners on, so she resorted to
posting this reminder on the kitchen door: "STOVE?"
My sister, back from college, noticed Mother's sign.
Beneath it she taped her reply: "No -- Door! Trust me.
I went to college."
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~~ Flex kept going to the ophthalmic doctor because his eye
hurt and the doctor finally discovered his problem.
The doctor told him, "Your eye hurts when you drink tea,
so you can't drink tea."
Flex stuttered, "But I love tea."
The doctor replied, "Okay, as long as you take the spoon out."
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~~ 'What kind of work do you do?' a woman passenger
inquired of the man traveling in her train compartment.
'I'm a Naval surgeon,' he replies.
'My word!' spluttered the woman,
'How you doctors specialize these days.'
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~~ Did you hear about the gourmet who avoids
unfashionable restaurants because he doesn't want to
gain weight in the wrong places?
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* Deep Thought For The Day: "People will believe anything if you whisper it."
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