Good Morning, Friends, and neighbors...
A clear 17ºdegrees......and only 35º degrees today...
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Some one has a beer tree....
Gonna have a party on New Years eve....
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No-No-NO!!
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The Kids gonna be a Tattoo artist...
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Hey, fatty... no more birds for you...
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Loves her teddy....
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Fly by night Lawyers??
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Oh, no....thats were my paper went.....
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Now....tell me that won't hurt!!
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Okay...Eno, I won't......
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Good tip.....
time for me to go.....
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♥♥♥
~~ Southwest Airlines makes humor a high priority.
Here is an actual humorous statement by a pilot:
Pilot: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now,
so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off.
Feel free to move about as you wish,
but please stay inside the plane till we land...
it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it
affects the flight pattern."
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~~ IF OUR GOVERNMENT REALLY WANTS TO KEEP OUR
NATION'S TOP SECRETS CLASSIFIED..........
THEY SHOULD BE KEPT IN THE SAME PLACE THAT
OBAMA'S COLLEGE TRANSCRIPTS AND BIRTH CERTIFICATE
ARE KEPT.
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~~ A sad-faced Pete walked into a flower shop early one
morning.
The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece,
based on the look on Pete's face, but soon realized his
assumption was wrong as Pete asked for a basket of flowers
sent to his wife for their anniversary.
"And what day will that be?" the clerk asked.
Glumly he replied, "Yesterday".
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~~ Willie Nelson was arrested for possession of...marijuana.
Nothing yet on bin Laden, but we got Willie Nelson.....
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~~ The history class was studying the Revolutionary battle
of Saratoga, which was lost probably because
General William Howe chose to remain in Philadelphia.
When the teacher asked the class to explain this major British
defeat, a student quipped, "Lack of no Howe."
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~~ Q: Why did the hunter name his sled dog Frost?
A: Because Frost bites!
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~~ Chat-show host Jay Leno clearly has all his mental
faculties intact.
The quick-witted presenter once remarked:
"The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that
drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest
bone density.
They need it, they're the ones falling down most."
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~~ "If dogs could talk, perhaps we’d find it just as hard to
get along with them as we do people."
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~~ I have a habit of leaving myself notes of things to do
around the house.
Once, when I went out early, leaving my recently retired
husband still in bed, I set the dishwasher and left myself a
note to "empty dishwasher."
When I got home, my note was still on the counter,
but with a second note next to it: "Say please next time."
The dishwasher was empty.
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~~ CUSTOMER SERVICE NOTICE:
Helen Waite is now in charge of all rush orders.
If you are in a hurry, just go to Helen Waite.
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~~ A mother and her two adolescent sons were trying to
decide what to give Pop for his birthday.
"I know," cried the younger son finally.
"Let's let him drive the car this weekend!"
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Todays Thought; "To think creatively, we must be able to look afresh at what we normally take for granted."
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