Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Christmas Eve Morning.....

Well, now the people that put buying gifts off,

can now run around like a chicken with it's head

cut off....looking here and there...!

I got 26º and windy....no clouds yet...

Some snow tomorrow...

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I wish all my great friends...

Merry Christmas

&

Happy New Year...!

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You know I like old Barns...!!

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A great gift.??

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Get up! you got more shopping to do......

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Well, time for me to leave got some shopping to do too...

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~~ According to researchers, laughter increases relaxation and helps calm muscle tension.

So give your body a break and enjoy Jokes & Funnies from "Down Humming bird lane".....

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~~ Gus walks into a charity shop looking for a pair of trousers.
The label inside declares, "May contain traces of nuts".

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~~ I was enjoying a meal at an Indian restaurant when the
waiter came up to me and said "curryokay"
So i said "Nah I'm not much of a singer"

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~~ You're never too old to learn something stupid.

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~~ A violent tropical storm enveloped a sailing yacht off the
southern coast of Florida lasting all night and most of the
next morning.
As the sky cleared and the seas calmed, the people on the
yacht realized they were grounded on a coral reef about a mile
from shore in shark infested waters.
Most of those aboard the yacht were badly injured from their
ordeal.
The only able bodied that were on board were a doctor, a priest,

and a lawyer.
The doctor says, "Someone is going to have to swim ashore
and get some help.
I would volunteer but most of the crew and passengers are in
pretty bad shape and I am needed here to care for them."
The priest replies, "I would volunteer to go also but I might be
needed to comfort the injured or perform last rights."
The lawyer says, "No problem."
He immediately strips off his shirt and dives into the shark
infested water.

There is a great turbulence in the water and then the doctor
and priest notice that all of the sharks have formed a double
line from the yacht to the beach allowing the lawyer to swim
between them.
"My Goodness," says the priest. "It is a miracle!"
The doctor looking at the lawyer swimming to shore says,
"No, Father, It is not a miracle, It's professional courtesy!"

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~~ A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in
such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

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~~ Pete had been quite the ladies man and player all his life,
but now that he was getting up there in age,
his doctor was getting concerned about him.
"Pete," advised the doctor, "I can add 15 more years to your
life if you will just quit your old routine of wine, women, and
song." Pete thought for a few minutes, then said,
"Tell you what doc, I'll settle for five more years and just give
up singing."

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~~ The voices in my head may not be real,
but they have some good ideas!

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~~ On his downswing, he realized that his wife, Joy,
as teeing up on the woman's tee directly in front of him.
Unable to stop his swing, he nailed it, and hit her directly in
the temple, killing her instantly.
A few days later, John got a call from the coroner regarding her
autopsy.
Coroner : "John, your wife seemed to have died from blunt
force trauma to the head.
You said you hit a golf ball and hit her in the temple,
is that correct?"
John: "Yes, sir, that's correct."
Coroner: "Well,
inexplicably I found a golf ball wedged up her a-s."
John: "Was it a Titleist 3?"
Coroner: "Yes, it was."
John: "That was my mulligan."

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~~ A perfect marriage is one in which "I'm sorry"
is said just often enough.

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~~ A man who was involved in a serious accident was unable
to speak when he regained consciousness.
Wishing to know how long he had been unconscious,
he took a piece of paper and a pencil from the bed stand,
wrote "Date?" on it and gave it to his nurse.
She handed it back to him...after she had replied with the word,
"Married."

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Todays Thought; "Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last long."