Thursday, November 11, 2010

Good Morning, friends , neighbors and Vets....
Veterans, we salute you....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The trees along the Lane are losing their leaves
everywere you walk you crunch acorns...

A penny for your thoughts, little one....

What  bunch of sleepy heads.....

What happened??..you get lost?

Don't look now, there's a spy among you......

What a funny looking Shark.....

Do we gotta go to the vets??

Smile!!

Oh, My..........

See you later.....
♥♥♥

~~ Tazzy likes Blonde Jokes....

A blonde goes for a job interview in an office.
The interviewer decides to start with the basics.
"So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?"
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30
seconds before replying, "Ehhhh .. 22!"
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break
the ice.
"And can you tell us your height, please?"
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape
from her handbag.
She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to
the top of her head.
She checks the measurement and announces,
"Five foot two!"
This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real
basics.
"And uhh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?"
The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty
seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before
replying, "Mandy!"
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks,
"Just out of curiosity, Miss.
We can understand your counting on your fingers to work out
your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious,
but what were you doing when we asked you your name?"
"Oh that!," replies the blonde,
"That's just me running through 'Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you...."


~~ President Obama is in India.
You know what they say — go where the jobs are.


~~ Hundreds of people in Washington, D.C. reported seeing
a U.F.O. today.
Aliens,..... if you’re searching for intelligent life,
you’ve got the wrong town.


~~ There comes a point during the work day when you
have decided that you are not getting any more work done
today.
That usually happens to me about an hour before the end of
the day.
Today, that point was 5 minutes before I clocked in ....


~~ Levi Johnston said in an interview that Sarah Palin is
"not qualified" to be president.
And believe me, if there's anyone who knows about not being
qualified for something, it's Levi Johnston.


~~ Although our choir generally practises together,
occasionally we split into sectionals: basses with tenors (men),
altos with sopranos (women).
Each group requires a pianist.
As we were preparing for one concert, our choir director,
who is also a pianist, thought it wise to split into our sectionals
to practice.
She turned to one lady, another pianist, and instructed,
"I'll go upstairs with the women while you play with the men."


~~ Returning from the funeral home after paying last
respects to his aunt, my father walked in grinning,
and explained that he overheard two ladies admiring the
corpse.
“She looks wonderful,” said one.
“I've never seen her look so good.
Why, she looks better than I do!”
“Yes, dear,” the other replied comfortingly,
“but you have the flu.”


~~ My mother and I returned to my parents' house late one
evening to find my father, my college-age brother, Jerry,
and my ten-year- old sister fast asleep.
Mom had forgotten her house keys, so we knocked loudly,
first at the back door and then the front and side doors.
We yelled my father's name over and over, with no answer.
The car horn aroused the neighbors but no one at our house.
We drove into town and phoned home, finally waking Jerry.
When we got back, he let us in.
Dad was in bed, snoring, with the television on.
Mom quietly switched it off.
Dad woke right up.
"Don't turn that off," he said........ "I'm watching it!"


~~ As the three ladies picked up a menu,
each put on a pair of glasses.
"I really only need mine for close reading," explained the first.
Remarked the second, "I only use mine when the light is bad."
The third confessed, "I rarely wear mine -
except when I want to see."



~~ When a body was brought to her funeral home,
my friend contacted the next of kin.
Per previous instructions, the deceased would be cremated,
she explained to him, so he needed to come in to identify the
body.
Considering the task at hand, the relative asked,
"Does this need to be done before or after the cremation?"



Todays Thought:  He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much.





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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm I'll have to remember this when I go for my next interview, I always have problems remembering my name :-))
Taz xx