Good Morning, Friends and neighbors....
getting a chilly rain.... supposed to be cold this weekend,
but gets warmer during the week.
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Everytime I ride through here, I get hungry....
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"Sadie" looking for something to eat....
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Wanna go for a swing??
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Does it bite?
I don't care to find out.......
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He's waiting for the mouse to move.....
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I'm sure glad I don't have to drive in this mess...
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I'll stick to my local roads...
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Good for you!...
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I wonder how he knows??
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Well, it's time to go....if I can get out........
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♥♥♥
~~ The teacher brings a statue of Venus into class and asks, "What do you like best about it, class?
Let's start with you, Chuck.""The artwork," says Chuck.
"Very good. And you, Pete?"
"Her breasts!" says Pete.
"Pete, get out!
Go stand in the hall," responds the teacher with disgust.
"And you, Gus?"
"I'm leaving, teacher, I'm leaving..."
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~~ A woman walks into a computer store and asks the clerk
for "a game capable of holding my six-year-old's attention,
but simple enough for my husband to play."
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~~ Question: What's brown and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's last movement.
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~~ The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled .
His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him.
He hardly left her side.
And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a
temper tantrum.
Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his
grandmother's loving arms.
When he came home from school his grandma met him at
the door.
"Was school all right?" she asked,
"Did you get along all right? did you cry?"
"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"
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~~ Two doctors meet at a medical convention.
First doc says "You're fine, how am I?"
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~~ A university undergraduate left a note on his door for the
janitor on which was written.
"Call me at seven; it is absolutely necessary that I get up at
seven.
Make no mistake.
Keep knocking until I answer."
Under this he had written. "Try again at ten."
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~~ We blame fate for other accidents,
but we feel personally responsible when we make a hole in one.
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~~ During the final exam, the professor noticed that one
student kept looking at his hand before writing down an
answer on his test.
This went on throughout the entire exam, leaving the
professor no other choice than to check on the student's
test- taking habit.
"Is there something interesting written on your palm?"
"Not at all, Professor.......... It's all pretty boring."
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~~ One of life's disappointments is discovering that the
man who writes the bank's ads is not the one who makes
the loans.
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~~ Cosmetic surgery isn't just a matter of patch, patch, patch.
It's a battle between the Haves and the Have-Nots.
It seems as if every other woman I run into these days should
have a sign pinned on her back, UNDER CONSTRUCTION.
- Erma Bombeck -
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~~ A man rushed into a bar and ordered a double martini.
The man downed it with one swallow,
put a five dollar bill on the bar, and turned and rushed out
of the bar.
The bartender picked up the five dollar bill, and folded it
carefully and tucked it in his vest pocket.
Just at that moment he looked up at the boss standing in
the doorway staring at him.
Doing a bit of fast thinking he said, "Hi boss,
did you see that fellow just now?
Came in here, bought a double martini, gave me a five
dollar tip, and rushed out without paying."
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~~ I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts,
and on the packet it said ''may contain nuts.''
Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!
You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!''
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Todays Thought: Life isn't about how you survived the storm...it's about how you danced in the rain!
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