Good Morning, Every one....
a chilly 40º degrees this morning......
Gonna be a cold weekend....
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Want some Bacon this morning??
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A nice old house....
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I know the store is large...
But Hitch hikers??
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I have no idea what kind of kittens these are?
At first I thought Bob cats, but I see a tail....
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Pete wanna buy a computer?
What I call a "Scratch and Dent"....
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Buddies....?
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Careful of that nose......
That cat has claws.......
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Funny looks like a funny face.....
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Yeah.......
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Pete, I need a push....I don't think it will made
it over the mountain.........
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♥♥♥
~~ A truck-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,........ What a turtle disaster...
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~~ Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were
expecting their first baby.
I was elated when he called me at work all the way from
Japan with the news of my grandchild's birth.
I took down all the statistics and turned to relate it all to my
co-workers.
"I'm a grandmother!" I declared.
"It's a baby girl, and she weighs five pounds."
"When was she born?" someone asked.
Recalling the date my son told me, I stopped,
looked at the calendar, and said in amazement,......
"Tomorrow!"
☺
~~ A little field-mouse was lost in a dense wood,
unable to find his way out.
He came upon a wise old owl sitting in a tree.
"Please help me, wise old owl, how can I get out of this wood?" said the field-mouse.
"Easy," said the owl, "Grow wings and fly out, as I do."
"But how can I grow wings?" asked the mouse.
The owl looked at him haughtily, sniffed disdainfully,
and said, "Don't bother me with the details,
I only advise on strategy."
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~~ An American who happened to see Vesuvius erupting
was unshaken in his devotion to home products.
An Englishman twitted him, "You've nothing like that in
America," and the American conceded that but replied,
" Our Niagara Falls would put that little bonfire out in two
minutes.
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~~ Teaching an exceptionally bright and hard-working group
of first, second and third grade students...
I affectionately referred to them as "my little cherubs."
One day I asked them if they knew what a cherub was.
Hands flew up and one child replied, "A fat baby."
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~~ GOD MADE PART OF ME (Brian Cavanaugh)
"Can you tell me who made you?" the pastor asked the
small boy.
The youngster thought a moment.
Then he looked up at the pastor and said,
"God made part of me."
"What do you mean, part of you?" asked the pastor.
"Well," answered the boy, "God made me little.
I grew the rest myself."
"Growing the rest" is a lifetime job for everyone.
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~~ It's not pleasant growing old and feeling as if the world
has left you behind, but at least John Mortimer has found one
positive thing to be said for entering the autumn of one's life.
"Just imagine," he says, "what life would be like if you could
recite every word of Britney Spears' latest hit."
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~~ Christmas is a wonderful day for children.
For parents, peace on earth comes a few days later when all
the batteries wear out.
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~~ Salvador Dali - who produced shirts, hats, ashtrays,
postage stamps, brandy bottles, bathing suits, crystal ware,
tapestries, playing cards, and other items in addition to more
traditional art - was thought by many critics to be little more
than a money- grubbing charlatan.
One man, told of Dali's designs for coat hangers,
pointed out a revealing fact about the artist's name:
"Salvador Dali" is an anagram of "Avida dollars."
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~~ I am a prosecuting attorney in a small Virginia town,
and will admit to having a few extra pounds on me.
Not long ago, I was questioning a witness in an armed robbery
case.
I asked, "Would you describe the person you saw?"
The witness replied, "He was kind of short and stout."
"You mean short and stout like me?" I asked.
"Oh, no," the witness said. "He wasn't that fat."
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~~ One day as I was getting ready for work,
I gave a long list of instructions to my 13-year-old.
She read it and muttered under her breath,
"And then may I go to the ball?"
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~~ "Look, guide, here are some LION tracks."
"Good. You see where they go and I'll find out where they
came from."
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