Turkey day......and the football games tomorrow??
44º and no rain yet.
My cats are ready....Their always ready for food......
They always get all they want,
then it's the squirrels turn.....
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Okay, okay, I'll feed you.....BULLY!
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Welcome to the club.....
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How would you like this kitten?
I don't know if I could feed it.......
My 5 small ones are all I can handle....
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What the.......?
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He thought that critter was funny looking.....
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Get back......or I'll kick you.......
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Mamma, taking the baby for walk....
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ENO, get your pants on.....
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I will leave on this image......
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♥♥♥
~~ Gus is looking at tools at the local building supply store, he picks up a hammer.
"Don't make these like they used to," he tells the salesman,"I've had the same one for over fifty years,....
I just had to replace
the handle six times and the head twice."
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~~ "When I was born the doctor took one look at my face....
turned me over and said. Look...twins!" (Rodeny Dangerfield)
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~~ On this day in 1863, President Abraham Lincoln
delivered the Gettysburg Address.
Following the address, the rebuttal was given by......
John McCain.
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~~ "In a survey of 35 cities, Los Angeles ranked
second-to-last in intelligence.
Residents of L.A. were outraged after the report was slowly
explained to them." -Conan O'Brien
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~~ The English teacher in a school in Spanish Harlem
decided it was time for the weekly vocabulary lesson.
"What's the difference between select and choose...
Ramone?" she asked.
"Select is when you pick something," he answered, "
and choose are what you wear on your feet."
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~~ A guy is working on a steep roof and starts to
slide down out of control.
“Help me God," he cries.
A large nail catches on his overalls and stops his decent.
“Never mind God, a nail's got me," he sighs with relief.
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~~ A worker who was being paid by the week approached
his employer and held up his last paycheck.
"This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on," he said.
"I know," the employer said.
"But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you
never complained."
"Well, I don't mind an occasional mistake,"
the worker answered, "but when it gets to be a habit,
I feel I have to call it to your attention."
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~~ What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
Ans.....A nervous wreck!
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~~ Wedding Present .....
I would like to thank you all for coming here today to celebrate
my daughter's wedding.
Just for your information the seating arrangement has been
specially organised with all of the people that bought large
presents being placed towards the front and those that bought
cheaper smaller presents at the back. (Pause)
There is a special thanks for uncle Fred who is at the back for
the oven glove. (Pause)
The bride would like to ask uncle Fred if she could have the
other glove for their Silver Wedding Anniversary.
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~~ I could tell there was a hint of autumn in the air when my
son's football smashed me in the face.
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~~ Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. -
Since Venus is normally associated with women,
what does this tell you?
It tells you that women are the one's that's going in
the 'right' direction.
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~~ A fun fact about wrapping paper.....
Q: Do you know how much wrapping paper is on the
average roll?
A: Four inches less than you need.
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Todays Thought: The Opera is the only place where a guy gets stabbed and instead of bleeding, he sings.
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