Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning, this morning......

Well, cooler weather is on it's way.....

Pete...No good news today....

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Yep, gonna get cooler, Thursday....

Get the long johns out!

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Always got one handy......

never know when you will need one.....

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Go to goodwill.......

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Chuck is a bad Dude....

Don't mess with him.....

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I don't think I should say anything..........

"Witchy" will get all over me.....

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I told yeah, never mess with Chuck....

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I thought Elvis left the building??

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Hello....Hello...Can you hear me.......

Yes, I can hear you....but there is a bad Echo

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OK, who's got the decoder ring??

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Well, I gotta go....having fish for dinner,

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♥♥♥

~~ Pete... I just don't think those diet foods work very well, I just had a half gallon of diet ice cream and didn't even lose an ounce.

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~~ Polls: Voting places where you stand in line to see who
will spend your money.

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~~ "Donald Trump may run president.
Is that a good idea?
Haven't enough Americans already been told, 'You're fired'?" –Jay Leno

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~~ She had the gaul to ask if the pants made her ass look big.
I said, No,.........Its the cheeseburgers.
Then the fight started...

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~~ Trust me, it's harder being a telemarketer than hearing
from one.
I called a home once, and a little girl picked up.
I asked to speak to her parents, but instead was given a tour
of her house.
"I see a book, a flower, a doggy..."
Eventually, her father took the phone, allowing me to recite
my pitch.
"Hi. I'm calling from ABC Telephone Company.
How much do you pay for long distance?"
"Hold on, please," he said.
The next thing I heard: "I see a table, a lamp, a refrigerator,
a light..."

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~~ A young woman was having a physical examination and
was very embarrassed because of a weight problem.
As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed.
"I'm so ashamed, Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go."
The physician was checking hers eyes and ears.
"Don't feel ashamed, Miss...... You don't look that bad."
"Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked.
The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and
said, "Of course..... Now just open your mouth and say moo."

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~~ Gus at the bar totally plastered Goes to take a drink
and miscalculates, spilling it all over his chest.
As he looks at the bartender with beer coming out of his mouth,
he says, "Sorry........ I must be full."

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~~ Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi
bottle cap back on?
Because it said, "Sorry, try again."

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~~ The large office building that I work in is showing signs
of its advanced age.
Structural and cosmetic renovations began well over two
years ago, and no end is in sight.
The chronic chaos moves unpredictably from floor to floor.
The tenants apparently are feeling the stress.
Posted in the elevator one morning was a hand- lettered
warning sign left by the workmen:
"Watch your step... floors 3, 4 and 5."
By lunchtime, someone had added, "have been removed."

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~~ Police in New York found a bomb outside a mosque.
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to
push it inside..

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~~ Little Jack was in a thoughtful mood as he ate his
breakfast one morning.
"Mom," he said, "why has dad only got a few hairs on his
head?"
"Hmmmm..." said his mother, trying to think fast.
"Well, it's because he's so very clever."
"Oh", said Jack, "so why do you have so much hair, then?"

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~~ BOTTLE FEEDING: An opportunity for Daddy to get up
at 2 AM too.

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~~ I had never been so zonked in my life.
After my first child, Molly, was born, my mother came to
stay with me for a few weeks to help out, but I still woke up
whenever the baby made the slightest sound during the night.
One morning, I groggily asked my mom,
"How long before I stop hearing every noise Molly makes?"
Mom was obviously only half-listening.
"Honey, are you coming down with something?" she asked.
"You were coughing in your sleep."