Did you have a good one?
We got little rain...just enough to wet the grass.
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I took this sunrise pic, some time ago....
It was a nice one......
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Scared bear,.come on down, I won't hurt you......
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She can't believe what she saw....Oh My.....
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You do that..........
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This one sez she will hide........
until that meany goes home........
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Nope...still going.......O.K.?
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You been watchin too many "Star Trac"....
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He's seemed to lost his hair......
Must be the "NAIR" he got in to......
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Stay outta my food....
I don't need you as a taster
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No wonder my bills are alwas late..........
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♥♥♥
~~ I went to a Halloween party where everyone was in
costume, except for Pete who was dressed handsomely
and was carting around a long piece of lumber that
looked like a 2 x 4.
I stopped trying to guess what his costume was,
and instead just asked what he was dressed as.
He pointed to himself and the piece of wood and said,
"We're a couple of studs."
☼
~~ The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast
table one lazy Sunday morning. I said to her,
"If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell
all my stuff."
"Now why would you want me to do something like that?"
she asked.
"I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don't
want some idiot using my stuff."
She looked at me and said:
"What makes you think I'd marry another idiot?"
☼
~~ For years my father was away most of the time
working at various construction sites.
When he retired he decided to buy a new truck.
I overheard him discussing prices and options, and
learned that he was considering a truck with standard
transmission.
Since all our other cars had been automatic,
I was surprised.
"Dad, I didn't know you could drive a standard."
Equally surprised, Dad answered,
"How do you think I've been making a living for the last
45 years?"
My father was a heavy-equipment operator.
☼
~~ A raccoon got in with our sheep, and I watched as
the flock instinctively herded together as the raccoon made
its way past them.
A neighbor passing on his tractor stopped and shouted
to me, "Can't you get a dog like everyone else?"
☼
~~ The one thing that unites all human beings,
regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or
ethnic background, is that, deep down inside,
we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
☼
~~ Penal Code 6260, California State Vehicle Act,
Chapter XVIII, Paragrapf 187, reads:
It is a misdemeanor to shoot any kind of game bird or
mammal--except a whale, from an automobile or an
airplane.
☼
~~ Phil was taking to his psychiatrist.
"I had a weird dream recently," he says.
"I saw my mother but then I noticed she had your face.
I found this so worrying that I immediately awoke and
couldn't get back to sleep.
I just stayed there thinking about it until 7am.
I got up, made myself a slice of toast and some coffee
and came straight here.
Can you please help me explain the meaning of my dream?"
The psychiatrist kept silent for some time, then said,
"One slice of toast and coffee?
Do you call that a breakfast?"
☼
~~ I became pregnant with my second child when my
son, Denis, was four years old.
Together, we read a book for children that explained
where babies come from.
I ended up having an emergency Caesarian section,
so when I came home from the hospital and Denis
kept jumping on my lap, it hurt.
"Why don't you show him the incision?"
my husband asked,
"Then he might understand it better."
I did, explaining that this is where the doctor had
cut the baby out of my tummy.
"Didn't he read the book?" Denis asked,
with horrified look on his face.
☼
~~ My father served in the Seabees, which meant he
was more likely to handle a cement mixer than a rifle.
I tried to explain this to my six year-old-son.
"Grandpa didn't fight in any battles," I said.
"He wasn't that kind of soldier."
"Oh!" said my son....
"He was in the Salvation Army."
☼
~~ My husband, Garth, loves taking the kids out on
Halloween.
One year, he decided to start charging them a
"Daddy tax" on their candy.
They each were to give him a small portion of the
treats they received.
Halloween was coming up again, and the boys started
saying, "How about if we don't have the daddy tax
this year?"
"Yeah," they all said. "No daddy tax this year!"
"We're going to boycott the tax this year!" the boys said.
My four-year old daughter Celeste, added,
"Yeah! And I'm going to girlcott it!"
☼
~~ An minister tells of his first Sunday in a new parish
and of presenting the children's message.
It seems the sanctuary in the new church had some
magnificent stained glass windows, so his message
centered on how each of us is called to help make up the
whole picture of life
(the life of the community of the faithful).
Like the pictures in the windows,
it takes many little panels of glass to make the
whole picture.
And then he said, "You see each one of you is a little pane.
" And then pointing to each child, "You're a little pane.
And you're a little pane.
And you're a little pane. And..."
It took a few moments before he realized why everyone
was laughing so hard.
☼
☼
Todays Thought: Think for yourself and let others enjoy the right to do the same.
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