Going to be warm today.....
☼
They looked like that??
☼
Someone tell him to get out of the water.....
Hurricane coming......
☼
How did you do that??
☼
Gee, thanks!!
☼
Not supposed to be surfing for porn.....
☼
This is what you get for surfing for porn??
☼
Oh, so you wanna play keep away....huh!
☼
I'ze hidding.....
☼
Watch It!! mean flower........
☼
Plat it Nero!!
☼
He's a gentleman helping the lady out of the water!
☼
Okay, what's this Semper Fi stuff??
☼☼
☼
♥♥♥
~~ -Elin Nordegren--she's smart, she's pretty....... she's the PGA's top money winner.
☼
~~ FAMOUS LAST WORDS
I copied this off of Jeff Foxworthy, but thought they
were so funny.
Hey, Johnny see if you can shoot this apple off my head
with your shot gun!
Hey, Joe get a picture of me feedin these bears!
I made this bungi cord MYSELF!
☼
~~ Things are getting soo bad around my place that the
repo men just took my walker.
☼
~~ A woman walks into a vet's waiting room.
She's dragging a wet rabbit on a leash.
The rabbit does NOT want to be there.
"Sit, Fluffy," she says.
Fluffy glares at her, and sopping wet, jumps up on
another customer's lap, getting water all over him.
"I said SIT, now there's a good Fluffy,"
says the woman, slightly embarrassed.
Fluffy, wet already, squats in the middle of the
room and pees.
The woman, mortally embarrassed, shouts,
"Goddamn it Fluffy, will you be good?!"
Fluffy then starts a fight with a Doberman and
pursues it out of the office.
As the woman leaves to go after it, she turns to the
rest of the flabbergasted customers and says:
"Pardon me, I've just washed my hare,
and can't do a thing with it!"
☼
~~ "There a few things in life harder to find and
more important to keep than love.
Well, love and a birth certificate."
(President Barack Obama, at the 2010 White House
Correspondents' Dinner)
☼
~~ When my three-year-old brother threatened to
drop a spider on our grandmother, she pleaded,
"Don't.
That would scare me to death."
"That's okey," he said.
"I have another grandma."
☼
~~ A guy walks into a bar and there's a donkey
serving drinks.
The donkey asks, "What are you staring at?
Haven't you ever seen a donkey tending bar before?"
The guy says, "It's not that.
I just never thought the parrot would sell the place."
☼
~~ A fireman working night shift got kinky one day
so he sneaked out and went home to get a quickie.
He sneaked into the dark bedroom, took off his uniform
and ready to surprise his wife but she suddenly turned
and said "Honey can you get me some Tylenol from the
corner drug store?
I'm having a terrible headache".
Disappointed but he put his uniform back on and went
to the store anyway.
The clerk who knows the fireman well looked at him and
asked "Why the hell are you wearing a police uniform?"
☼
~~ I was going to buy a book on phobias,
but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.
☼
~~ I live in New Jersey and I'm used to having people
cut me off on the highway.
But this one time I was cut off by a convertible --
he missed my car by inches -- and the driver flipped me
the bird to boot.
Still steamed, I noticed that we had gotten off at the same
exit and the convertible's driver had pulled into an office
complex parking lot.
I pulled my car over and waited for the driver to leave
the parking lot and enter the building.
Then I entered the lot and pulled up next to the car.
Well, as my luck would have it, I had just made a stop
at the supermarket and had a loaf of bread that I was
willing to donate to the cause.
So I did.
I tore up a few slices of bread and threw the pieces into
the front and back seats of the open convertible.
Then I drove off out of the lot and pulled off across the
street to watch.
It didn't take long for the seagulls to start descending .....
☼
☼
Todays Thought: A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
◄~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ºº~~~~~~~~~~~~►
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