Ready for the good weekend??
Going to be a good one!
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This was 9:00 in the morning,
But the sun came shining through
And all in all, was a great day...
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He's afraid some one's going to take his breakfast away.....
He'll fight you over that Balony.....
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I guess they want fish for dinner??
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Dog leg??...... better stick with milk.....Bubba!
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Even the damn birds gotta eat......
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Hey, wasn't me....had to be that damn bird......
Can't trust them a bit.......
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Yep, no wonder I'm late all the time......
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Easy! don't drop it......
It's hard cleaning up invisible glass....
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Are you having fun??
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Well, I guess it's time I got out of here....
Pete, Think this thing will get over the mountain??
I can just see it going up 64......!!
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♥♥♥
~~ A Pete and Pat sat down in their living room and Pete said, ''I'm going down to the pub for a bit,
so put your coat on.'' Pat replied, ''Oh, sweetie, why?
Are you taking me with you?''
Pete replied, ''No, I'm turning the heat off.''
☼
~~ What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the
heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed.
"Well, I went to the Amusement Park at the weekend and
decided to take a ride on the roller coaster.
As we came up to the top of the highest loop,
I noticed a little sign by the side of the track.
I tried to read it but it was very small and I couldn't make
it out.
I was so curious that I decided to go round again,
but we went by so quickly that I couldn't see what the
sign said.
By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round
a third time.
As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a
better view."
"And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?"
asked the visitor.
"Yes."
"What did it say?"
"Don't stand up in the car!"
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~~ My youngest daughter, Angie, graduated from college
and started teaching at an area school.
One day she went with a friend to a nearby restaurant for
lunch.
A man seated next to her asks, "Are you a teacher?"
Suprised but happy, Angie replied, "Why, yes, I certainly am!"
She enjoyed a warm feeling throughout the meal...
she looked like a teacher, and this made her feel great.
As she was leaving the restaurant, she asked the man,
"How did you know I was a teacher?"
"You have chalk dust on your rear", he replied.
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~~ "Most people are willing to pay more to be amused
than to be educated."
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~~ As I picked out flowers for my mother,
I noticed a gentleman next to me juggling three boxes
of candy and a large bouquet.
"What did you do wrong?" I said with a laugh.
He mumbled back, "I got married."
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~~ We could all take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.
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~~ COURT OF LAW - the place where a suit is pressed
and a man can be taken to the cleaners.
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~~ British scholar William Spooner (1844-1930)
was famously absent- minded.
"Was it you or your brother," he once asked a former
student, "who was killed in the war?"
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~~ "When I married Donna, I could get both hands around
her waist," said my husband's grandfather.
Pointing at his full-figured wife, he boasted,
"Now look how much I got.
That's what I call an investment!"
☼
~~ A manager of a restaurant had called its owner to
ask about whether or not she should hire a new waitress.
"She can speak twelve different languages,
which will be good for foreign visitors," said the manager.
"All right, so hire her," the owner replied.
"But, sir..."
"I knew there would be a but.
What's wrong with her?"
"Sir, English isn't one of the twelve languages."
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Todays Thought: The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable
man.
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