Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Good HOT! Morning....  Yes it's hot.....
Hopefully, we will get a storm, and get cooled off.

Dear Martha Stewart: I have this brown stain on my nice, white, fluffy butt...

She's out looking for breakfast this morning.....

Wow...Lady Ga Ga....your ugly.....

I don't know...their fighting over her.....

Don't mess with the Kung Fu master.......

I don't know about these two.........

Yeah.....get that carrot.....

Too late.....Bubba gots them.......

What can you say?
There seems to be a few....


Well, I see he's got his helmet on, good safe cyclist...
♥♥♥

~~ I rarely wear a watch.

Once, however, I had to wait several hours at the R-ville
bus terminal and passed the time reading two newspapers
and doing the crosswords.
Finally, wanting to know how much longer before the 7:20 p.m.
bus left, I approached a pregnant woman who was wearing a watch.
When I asked what time it was, she replied, "Four weeks."



~~ "It has been said that there is no fool like an old fool,
except a young fool.
But the young fool has first to grow up to be an old fool
to realize what a damn fool he was when he was a young fool."



~~ Did you realize that president obama probably signed his
stimulus package at the same desk where president clinton
got his package stimulated?



~~ The older a man gets, the more ways he learns to part
 his hair.
Some men pull what little bit of hair they have around on their
head to cover their baldness.
However, as a man gets even older,
he realizes there are basically only three ways to wear his hair...
parted, unparted, and departed.



~~ A priest at a parochial school, wanting to point out the proper
behavior for church, was trying to elicit from the youngsters
rules that their parents might give before taking them to a
nice restaurant.
"Don't play with your food," one second-grader cited.
"Don't be loud," said another, and so on.
"And what rule do your parents give you before you go
 out to eat?"
the priest inquired of little johhny.
Without batting an eye, johhny replied,
"Order something cheap."



~~ Tired of asking the same old questions of the
day's arrivals,
Saint Peter decided to ask about their automobiles.
When asked what kind of car he'd driven, one said,
"A Toyota."
Saint Peter pushed a button and the applicant fell through a
hole into the fiery depths below.
A second drove a Mercedes.
He too went down through the hole.
A third said, "I drove a Chevy."
Saint Peter opened the gates wide.
"Come on in," he said......
"You've been through hell already!"



~~ Old people like to give good advice,
as consolation for the fact that they can no longer set
bad examples.



~~ The rich aunt was disappointed and said to
her nephew,
"I'm sorry you don't like your gift.
I asked you if you preferred a large check or a
small check."
"I know, Auntie," the nephew said contritely,
"but I didn't know you were talking about neckties."



~~ While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught
 up to an Amish carriage.
The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor,
because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand
printed sign...
"Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass.
Caution: Do not step in exhaust."



~~ During the cold winter a family was preparing to go out
for an evening activity.
The wife, who was normally bustling about getting the
 children ready to leave, was this evening instead standing
right inside the front door, her arms full of coats.
And instead of being prepared to leave
 her four small children were busy running circles around
her playing one of their non- stop games of tag.
Her husband, coming down the stairs,
was shocked at the spectacle.
"Honey," he said, "What are you doing just standing there?
 We'll be late!"
"Here," his wife replied, handing him the coats with a
smug smile,
"I thought that this time you would like to have the privilege
of putting the children into their coats,....
 while I go and honk the horn."



Todays Thought:  "The trouble with class reunions is that
old flames have become even older."





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