# 1040

Good Morning, Friends.....We had a good weekend,
Hope you all did too....
Got a couple hurricanes coming....
☼

A nice sunrise.........

☼

Okay, Okay.....I'll leave....

But who will feed you??

☼

No, Sparky.....sleep in your own bed.......

Just because I get in bed with you in a Thunder storm,

doesn't mean you can get in mine......

☼

I just don't know...??

☼

Funny looking bird.......

☼

Gotta take "Bubba" for his daily walk......

☼

He'll never go back to living in the jungle.....

☼

Weird looking critter....

☼

Get them geese....

☼

My power screw driver.........

Now I can work on my car........

☼

I bet this thing wouldn't move in the snow....

I would be uneasy driving this thing...

☼

☼

♥♥♥

~~ Seen in the Southern Illinois University student newspaper:

"Sweet, little old lady wishes to correspond with S.I.U.
undergraduate.
Prefers six-foot male with brown eyes answering to
initials J.D.B.
Signed, "His Mother."

☼

~~ What a dog I got..... His favorite bone is in my arm!

☼

~~ While playing Scrabble at my future in-laws" house,
I asked, Is nag a word?"
As my father-in-law walked by, he answered,
"In about six months it will be."

☼

~~ Two fellows were sitting in a bar.
Suddenly the Town's Fire Alarm went off.
One jumped up and headed for the door.
His friend shouted, "Hey, Paul, I didn't know you were a
fireman!"
Paul replied, "I'm not, but my neighbor's husband is..."

☼

~~ One afternoon, a butcher went into a pet shop.
The butcher had visited that same pet shop every day for
a week straight.
It seems that he had fallen in love with one of the seagulls
in the shop.
Alas, he had no money to spend, but the pet shop owner
agreed to give him the bird in exchange for some of the
delicious German sausage from the butcher's store.
And so, the deal was made.
It seems that he took a tern for the wurst.....

☼

~~ Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop....

☼

~~ It was my first parachute jump, and I was petrified.
I'd watched the rest of my airborne troop leap out of the
plane, and I wanted no part of it.
Just then, a gust of wind sucked my glasses off my face
and out the door.
My jumpmaster had a solution: He shoved me out the door
and ordered, "Go get 'em!"

☼

~~ I wanted to go to the Paranoids Anonymous meeting,
but they wouldn't tell me where it was.


☼
~~ How do you catch a penguin?
Drill a hole in the ice, put a ring of peas around it.
When the Penguin comes up to take a pea kick him in
the ice hole.

☼

~~ Driving my car one afternoon, I rolled through a stop
sign.
I was pulled over by a police officer who recognized me
as his former English teacher.
"Mrs. Brown," he said, "those stop signs are periods,
not commas."

☼

~~ The frightened tourist: "Are there any bats in this cave?"
The guide: "There were, but don't worry, the snakes ate all
of them."

☼

~~ My daughter was six and excited about learning all

the wonderful things about the world that first-graders learn.
She turned to me one day and asked,
"Dad, back in the old days when you were a kid,
had they learned how to make the wheel yet?"
I replied, "No, Sweetie, back then we were just grateful
to have fire."
☼
☼
Todays Thought:  Far too many people spend their lives reading the menu instead of enjoying the banquet.

OO