Good morning....Everyone...
Well we got relieve from the hot hot days,
at least for a few days..
Might even get some rain.....
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Whoops....there goes breakfast.....
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I'm not gonna get any Apples thats gonna bite me back...
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Their looking for breakfast........
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He's enjoying his coke......
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Hey-hey...there's more cokes in the fridge.....
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I guess he's thirsty...
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He's got a nice pillow?
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I don't think so...The door is open...
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A head butt...?
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A redneck custom pick up truck....
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♥♥♥
~~ I was sound asleep when the telephone jarred me awake.
"Hi!" It was my special lady Bobbie.
She proceeded to rattle on about the busy day she had ahead
and all the things that awaited her the rest of the week.
"Bobbie," I interrupted. "It's five in the morning."
"Really? What are you doing up so early?"
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~~ WHEN TO FART:
1. Bosses office as you are about to leave. - best to make sure it's silent but violent.
2. In a bathroom.
3. In the cashiers line - it's bound to speed things up.
4. The empty elevator before you get off.
5. Beside an occupied dressing room - no doubt it'll quickly become unnocupied.
6. Your co-workers cubicle at the office.
7. When deep sea diving.
8. Back seat of the Police Mobile after being arrested.
9. In your car if you've been carjacked.
10. During a pie eating competition to distract your competitors.
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~~ A census taker in a rural area went up to a farm house and knocked... when a woman came to the door,
he asked her how many children she had, and their ages.
She said, " Les' see now, there's the twins,
Margie and Mikey, they're five.
There's the twins Sam and Pam, they're three.
And the twins, Sissy and Missy, they're two."
"Hold on, hold on," said the census taker, "Did you get twins every time?"
The woman answered, "Shucks no, there was hunnerts of times we didn't get nothin'!"
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~~ What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck....
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~~ My girlfriend wanted me to meet her folks, to which I hesitantly agreed.
"My mother has a great sense of humor," I was told.
"You'll get along just fine."
We met her parents at a local restaurant, and right away her mom launched into a string of jokes.
I began telling anecdotes, and soon all four of us were laughing hysterically.
After several minutes passed, my girlfriend noticed that there was no one seated in our area.
"Maybe we're being too loud," she said.
"Nonsense," I said, "the waitress is probably asking customers if they'd like to be seated in
'Joking' or 'Non-joking'!!"
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~~ What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!
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~~ What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck....
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~~ There were three blondes driving down a hill.
Suddenly the girl driving realized that her brakes were gone.
They all started screaming and telling themselves they were going to die.
Then one girl noticed a sign.
She Said, "Oh! Don't worry there's a stop sign down there!"
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~~ A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness by a guide.
On the third day, the hikers noticed that they had been traveling in circles.
''We're lost!'' One of the hikers complained.
''And you said you were the best guide in the United States.''
''I am,'' the guide answered, '' but I think we may have wandered into Canada.''
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~~ On a billboard ad for a safe company:
"If your stuff is stolen, it's not our vault."
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~~ A priest, who was a good friend of the family,
agreed to help celebrate a special Mass for my parents 50th anniversary.
While he was going over the service, he asked my mother,
"Are you planning to renew your vows?"
"Why?" Mom asked. "Have they expired?"
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~~ There were three blondes driving down a hill.
Suddenly the girl driving realized that her brakes were gone.
They all started screaming and telling themselves they were going to die.
Then one girl noticed a sign.
She Said, "Oh! Don't worry there's a stop sign down there!"
☺
~~ A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness by a guide.
On the third day, the hikers noticed that they had been traveling in circles.
''We're lost!'' One of the hikers complained.
''And you said you were the best guide in the United States.''
''I am,'' the guide answered, ''
but I think we may have wandered into Canada.''
☺
~~ On a billboard ad for a safe company:
"If your stuff is stolen, it's not our vault."
☺
~~ A priest, who was a good friend of the family,
agreed to help celebrate a special Mass for my parents 50th anniversary.
While he was going over the service, he asked my mother,
"Are you planning to renew your vows?"
"Why?" Mom asked. "Have they expired?"
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Todays Thought: "Lots of people talk to animals....
Not very many listen, though.... That's the problem."
O~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<(º¿º)>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~O►
well gus you'll not get cool weather here. It 30+ for next week or so. Hot,hot,hot
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