# 998

Good Morning Friends and early birds....
I'm wondering whats is store for today....
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Hummers were out late last night.....

There were about 10 partying around the feeders on the deck.

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He's been cut off......

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He too...

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That is correct.....no more catnip on Sundays....

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Oh, Well....story of my life.....

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Now she's cool.....

and ready for her walk.....

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She's laffen at that funny looken Dog.....

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Looks kinda weird....Huh?

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Hey...PETE, I think he found the septic tank??

Got to be mo careful..Bubba!

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What can ya say??

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Time for me to leave....

I'm not waitin around for him to finish.....

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~~ The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink.

But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of $700.
"Now don't let me ever see your face again," said the Justice sternly as the defendant turned to go.
"I'm afraid I can't promise that, sir," said the released man.
"And why not?"
"Because I'm the bartender at your regular bar!"

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~~ I saw an extremely depressing billboard today whilst I was driving.
It had a puppy and a pig next to each other and said: "Why love one and eat the other?"
What cruel, sad soul would encourage puppy as a new American delicacy?

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~~ Over the weekend, Steve bought a new car.

He was so excited about it that he had to take a picture of it to bring to work with him to show everyone.
The picture on his cell phone showed his wife sitting in one of the front seats.
Steve crowed as he showed the picture to co-worker Jeff, "It's fully loaded."
Jim squinted at the picture. Having never seen Steve's wife before, he asked, "Who's that?"
"Oh," said Steve with a grin, "my passenger-side wind bag!"

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~~ Everyone at the company I worked for dressed up for Halloween.
One fellow's costume stumped us.
He simply wore slacks and a white T-shirt with a large 98.6 printed across the front in glitter.
When someone finally asked what he was supposed to be, he replied, "I'm a temp."

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~~ Heckling in the courtroom had constantly interrupted the trial, and the judge had had enough.
“The next person who interrupts the proceeding will be thrown out of my court!” he said severely, at which the defendant yelled, “Hooray!”

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~~ Mrs. Riley, you say you divorced your husband 6 years ago, but you have a newborn infant and children 1, 2, 3, and 4 years old. How come?
Well, every year, he comes back to apologize.

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~~ "Wow! Look at that beautiful woman over there!
Do you know her?"
"Yes, I do.
And she's got one more thing that's guaranteed to knock your eyes out!"
"Wow! What's that?"
"Her husband!"

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~~ On the way to a funeral, I travelled through some dense fog, and for safety's sake, put on my headlights.
When I returned to the car, it wouldn't start because I had forgotten to turn off the lights.
I went back to the funeral home to ask for some help and was met at the door by the undertaker.
"My car is dead" I said.
"Sorry, " he replied. "We don't bury cars."

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~~ For her summer job, my 18-year-old daughter arranged interviews at several day-care centers.
At one meeting, she sat down on one of the kiddie seats, no simple task for most people.
The interview went well, and at the end, the day-care center director asked the standard question,
"Can you give me one good reason we should hire you?"
"Because I fit in the chairs."....... She got the job.

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Todays Thought;  Brain cells come and brain cells go, but...fat cells live forever.

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