Well, it's gonna be another hot day.....
I get to cool off in the pool...
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So thats were my mouse went....
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A tailor cat??
I just don't know.....
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Now I gotta say, this is a weird looking cat....
Gotta be a photoshop...
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A cool lookin Dog, don't yah think?
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Just don't let him pee on gold......
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Yep that is a big un........
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Great pic...
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Now, you know you can't wear these....
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Ya....he's bad, but I don't think he would do this!
But I guess you never know?
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♥♥♥
~~ Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole in one.
☺
~~ There was a farmer out in the country,
a meek little guy who had a speech problem and couldn't talk right.
He got his first telephone, the kind that hangs on the kitchen
wall and has to be cranked to get the operator.
Soon after it was installed, he tried his first call.
(crank, crank, ring, ring) "Operator".
"Gimme fvree, fvree, one, fi, pease."
"Excuse me?"
"I wanna talk ta fvree, fvree, one, fi."
"I don't understand you, sir."
"FVREE, FVREE, ONE, FI!"
"Sir, if you want to make a call,
you're going to have to talk plainer than that."
"Oh, yust shtick it up yer ash!" (slammed the phone down)
The next morning, there was a knock at the farmer's door.
Two very large repairmen from the phone company were there,
and they asked him if he was the one who had used a profanity
with their operator.
"Yesh, I yam", he said.
The telephone man said "Sir, we don't stand for our ladies
being treated that way.
You have a choice.......
You can either call her right now and apologize,
or we're going to remove your telephone."
Without saying a word, the little man walked to the telephone.
(crank, crank, ring, ring)
"Operator".
"Are yew th' lady I told ta shtick 'dis telephone up her ash?"
Immediately huffy, the operator replied "I CERTAINLY am!"
"Well, get ready. Dere bringin' it in."
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~~ A guy in an office revealed to his co-workers that in a
moment of tender romance, he had asked his girlfriend to marry him.
"What did she say?" asked one.
"I don't know" he said. "She hasn't emailed me back yet."
☺
~~ A wife was having coffee with a girlfriend of hers when
she confided to her, "Our marriage has never been that great,
but this year has been the absolute worst between my husband and I.
Harry often yells at me, criticizes me, puts me down, plus he
never helps out with anything around the house,
and I keep getting the feeling that he's having an affair his secretary.
I can't eat, I can't sleep...in fact, I've already lost eight
pounds this month alone!"
"Well, why don't you dump the bastard?!?" her friend said.
To which the wife replied, "Oh, I plan to do that, but first I
want to get my weight down to 115 pounds."
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~~ One of the cashiers at the grocery store had just finished
an order at checkout three.
She had no one waiting in line, so she went to help her co-worker in lane one.
As the task progressed, an elderly man got in line, and not
wanting the customer to have to wait, the cashier from lane
three said, "I can take you on three, sir."
"Okay," he replied with a smile. "One...Two...Three!"
☺
~~ My five-year-old grandson was looking through some old
photos when he noticed his grandfather in his Marine dress blues.
"What kind of costume is that?" he asked.
"That's not a costume," his grandfather growled. "Men have died for that uniform."
The boy looked up and said, "So you stole it, then?"
☺
~~ According to Buckingham Palace, the British royal family could be broke by 2012.
That’s what happens when nobody in your family has a job in 600 years.
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~~ The building-supply warehouse in our town identified
accounts by using the first three letters of the customer's last name,
the first three letters of his first name and a single digit
representing how many accounts he holds.
One day when I went in to buy some cement to fix a cracked tile,
I joked with the cashier about my account name:
BROKEN 2.
"That's nothing," the clerk beside us said.
"Yesterday a man came in and said his charge was for MURDER 1."
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~~ There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days.
It's called Monday.
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Todays Thought; It is amazing how many people want to live a long life, and yet so few want to grow old.
►~~~~~~~~~~~~~~((^º¿º^))~~~~~~~~~~~~~◄
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