Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning, friends........

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Looking for some breakfast.......

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Watch out he bites.......

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Looking for a ride?

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Okay....Okay.....

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Likes fingers........

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Okay......

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Yep, and I'm saving it.....

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Wow.......hang on.......

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~~ The team had fumbled the ball ten times and dropped a dozen passes.

Watching the game a sub paced the sidelines.
Finally he sat down, but he missed the end of the bench and fell to the ground.
The coach looked at him and said, "I think you're ready to go in!"

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~~ When uranium prospectors with Geiger counters first began invading his
region, a Virginian old-timer confided to a visitor:
"I don't know what this is all about.
Fist thing I knew, some feller came, with a Goober counter
and said he was huntin' for geraniums."

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~~ One weekend, there was a costume party at a mental hospital,
and the theme of the party was "war".
The first patient comes up onto the stage and says,
"I am an atomic bomb."
He gets his applause and steps down.
The second person comes up and says, "I am a hydrogen bomb."
Again, there is a round of applause and he steps down.
And then a naked little man comes up to the stage and says, "I'm dynamite."
Everybody in the audience runs away hysterically.
When one of the mental patients was asked why they all ran away,
he replied, "Didn't you see how short his fuse was?"

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~~ One Sunday a cowboy went to church.
When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present.
The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.
The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle
and only one showed up, I'd feed him."
So the minister began his sermon.
One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours.
The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how
he liked the sermon.

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The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart,
but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up,
I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay..."

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~~ An native American just set the worlds......record for drinking tea.
He drank 379 cups of tea.
Unfortunately he was found dead in his teapee.

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~~ You may have heard the sad story of one of Hollywood's
most famous movie heroes.
He was a renowned oenologist, and invested a goodly part of
his earnings in one of the first wineries in Napa Valley.
However, he also like to "partake of the grape" to excess occasionally.
On one of those occasions he fell off his Horse,
and thereby became the first wine-stoned cowboy.

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~~ Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate
callers who are in various states of panic so I can send the
appropriate emergency equipment.
One day a woman called to say that a family member had fallen
and needed to go to a hospital.
After finding out where she lived and assuring her that the paramedics
would arrive shortly, I asked her, "Do you know what caused the fall?"
"No," the woman nervously replied. "What?"

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~~ Mickey Spillane, addressing a Mystery Writers of America convention,
warned his fans not to look too closely for symbolic depth in his novels.
Of his famous character, Spillane said, "Mike Hammer drinks beer,
not cognac, because I can't spell cognac."

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~~ The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that
they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.





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