Good Morning, friends....Ready for the weekend?
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Sunrise.....going to be a good weekend...
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On the way to vote, the other day.....
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Auwwww, your laying in bird poop....
Feeding them like that....they will poop on you!!
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Most don't like to ride.....Mine don't anyway....
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Cat ???
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I have never seen one of these.....You??
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Now! you just climb up there and get it!!
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Looks like their having fun.....
hope they don't have a flat.....
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Now I gotta wash the car......
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♥♥♥
~~ Veteran White House reporter Helen Thomas has
just resigned after she said Israelis should
“get the hell out of Palestine.”
Thomas hasn’t been in this much trouble since she told
President Lincoln to stop whining and put a Band-Aid on it.
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~~ For forty years we have studied bird calls .
There are so many different species , and to make it more
difficult they have territorial accents just like people do.
The really amazing thing is, we have translated all of their
calls.
And the message is always the same.
No matter the breed or the location,
the message is always the same:
"Yah! Yah! Yah! Cats can't fly!"
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~~ "Bobby, this is about the worst composition I have ever
read.
I can't believe you alone could make so many errors."
"You're right, Miss Brown! Dad helped me write it."
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~~ An old man strode in to his doctor's office and said,
"Doc, my druggist said to tell you to change my prescription
and to check the prescription you've been giving to Mrs. Smith."
"Oh, he did, did he?" the doctor shot back.
"And since when does a druggist second guess a doctor's
orders?"
The old man said, "Since he found out I've been on birth
control pills since February."
☼
~~ The school board official was picking his way carefully
across the schoolyard one winter day.
After several days of hard frost there was a light coating
of snow, and the ground was treacherous.
Suddenly his legs shot from under him and the official,
briefcase, and hat went flying.
A small boy ran up to him, "Thank you, Sir!" he shouted.
"What do you mean - thank you?" demanded the official.
"You've found our slide!" said the boy.
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~~ A woman noticed that a man was following her.
Quickening her pace, she rushed home, bolted the door,
and breathed a sigh of relief.
She turned to put away her groceries.
The man stood in the kitchen.
The woman said, "You'd better get out of here.
My husband will be home any second.... He'll kill you."
Just then a car pulled into the driveway.
Aghast, the woman went on, "He'll kill you.
But I don't want him in jail.
Hide in the closet.
When he's not looking, you can run away."
The menace hid himself in the closet.
The husband walked in, kissed his wife, looked at the mail,
and when his wife had started for the den,
he went to put away his coat.
Opening the door, he saw the menace and said, "Creep!"
He looked closer and said, "Haven't I seen you someplace
before?"
The menace said, "Yeah, in my apartment on Fifth Street.
This'll make us even!"
☼
~~ My friend told me this little story.....
In January 1991, I was being deployed to Operation Desert
Storm.
Before boarding the C-141 transport at Shaw Air Force Base
in South Carolina, I had to go through tight security.
After a meticulous x-ray examination of my carry-on bag,
I removed all metal objects from my uniform and was finally
able to pass through the detector without setting off the alarm.
"Just out of curiosity," I asked the airman operating the
checkpoint, "why did you make me go through all that?"
"We want to be sure you aren't carrying any weapons on
board," he said, handing me back my M-16 rifle.
☼
~~ A newly hired receptionist at a law firm was given the
assignment of writing a letter to a client,
but the task seemed to tax her capabilities.
Receptionist: In a letter, what goes after "dear"?
Office Manager: Whoever you're writing the letter to.
You know, "dear somebody."
Later on when the office manager picked up the letter
from the receptionist's out-box, she noted that it began,
"Dear Somebody."
Well, you get what you ask for.
☼
~~ Hard to believe, but many of our customers at the
bank still don't know how to swipe their card through
the ATM card reader. Because of this, my fellow tellers
and I often find ourselves having to explain how it's done.
One teller complained that she kept getting odd looks
every time she explained it.
I found out why when I overheard her tell one man,
"Strip down facing me."
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Thought of the day: "It is the mark of an educated mind to be
able to entertain a thought without accepting it."- Aristotle
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1 comment:
I'm off work for the weekend so I hope it will be glorious. If those blue skies keep up yours will be too.Thanks for the smiles to start my day
Rae x
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