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~~ Mike was making the last in a series of phone calls for work.
A man picked up and, before Mike could say anything, the man shouted,
"Wrong number!" and hung up. Mike, carefully dialed again.
The man picked up, hollered, "Wrong number!" and hung up.
Really curious by now, Mike dialed a third time and, before the man
could speak, he asked, "How do you know I have a wrong number?"
"Because" the man said, "No one calls me.
"Well, I'm calling you," Mike said, laughing.
They talked for 10 minutes, The next day, it was 20.
The man's name was Arthur.
He was 88 years old and had no family.
Mike had been an orphan and talking with Arthur was like talking with
a dad.
Once, to be funny, Arthur tried the "Wrong number!" bit again.
"No," Mike said quite seriously, "I didn't get a wrong number,
Arthur, I got you."
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~~ "Pete"....Hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed
wire fence?
It was udder destruction.
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~~ "Tazzy".... Where do farmers sit to milk cows?
On one side or the udder!
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~~ Conductor says to the Engineer...
"I think we're lost"
Engineer says, "Maybe, but we're on the right track"
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~~ A deaf old lady went to the doctor to find out whether there was any
risk of her getting pregnant again.
He told her: Mrs Hennessey, you're seventy-five.
Whilst one can never rule out an act of God, if you were to have a baby
it would be a miracle."
When she got home, her husband asked her what the doctor had said. "
I didn't quite catch it all," she admitted, "But it sounded a bit fishy:
something about an act of cod and if I had a baby it would be a mackerel."
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~~ Did you know that your ribs move about 5 million times a year,
every time you breathe!???
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~~ A squad of recruits went out to the rifle range for a try at markmanship.
At two hundred yards, they fired.
All missed.
There wasn't a hit at a hundred yards.
Or fifty.
Finally the sergeant yelled, "Fix bayonets and charge!
It's your only chance!"
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~~ A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.
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~~ Last Valentine's Day, I arrived at the doctor's office where I work as
a receptionist to find a mystery man pacing up and down holding a
package.
As I got out of the car, he whispered warmly, "I have something for you."
I excitedly ripped open the bundle.
It was a urine sample.
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~~ My girlfriend just said to me,
"Did you know, butterflies only live for two days?"
I said, "Honey, I think that's a myth."
She said, "No, it's definitely a butterfly."
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Todays Thought: Actions speak louder than words, but not nearly as often.
Argggggggggg Gus that's a great big groooooooooooooan. LOL
ReplyDeleteTazzy x