The picture posting went back to the way it was....
So we're back posting pictures....
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She smells the bacon, but only I gets bacon.....
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Everybody else has the Unicorn meat fried....
mmmmm smells good........
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He sez; you woke me for that??
Whaaaaa......
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He don't care, he's hitting the bottle kinda early.....
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She's trained right...makes the bed ever morning.....
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We an't telling........
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So that's were they went......wait till I get my hands on them..
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You all go with out me....I'm watching my stories....
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You even look mean.......
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Now this guy looks mean, but I bet he's a pussy cat......
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Wrong..........
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Well I guess it's time to leave.......
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♥♥♥
~~ The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys
people but leaves buildings standing. It's called the stock market.
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~~ Pete put his fifty cents in a vending machine and watched helplessly
while the cup failed to appear and a nozzle sent coffee down the drain
while another poured cream after it.
"Now that's automation!" he exclaimed.
"It even drinks for you!"
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~~ It's Gus's birthday in a few days time and his grandma goes out to
buy him a present.
She finds a menswear shop that was having a half-price sale and buys
a luxurious rollneck pullover for him.
Unfortunately, the pullover was for a size 14 neck and Gus was a size 18.
When Gus receives his present, he immediately tries it on.
He then writes a thank-you note to his grandmother.
This is what he wrote: Dear grandma, thanks a lot for the beautiful
pullover, I'd write more but I'm all choked up."
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~~ Two immigrants arrive in the United States and are discussing the
difference between the Old Country and the U.S.
One of them says that he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs,
and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well.
So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.'
The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"What part did you get?"
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~~ WAITRESS: Would you like your coffee black?
CUSTOMER: What other color do you have?
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~~ While reading the newspaper, Gus came across an article about a
beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted
for his IQ.
"I'll never understand," he said to his wife,
"why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."
His wife replied, "Why, thank you, dear."
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~~ Old Mendel Rugelbaum was very old and suffering from a rare
disease and could drink only human milk.
"How can I get human milk?" Mendel asked the doctor.
"Well, Ruby Finkelstein's just had a baby, maybe she'll help."
So every day Mendel went to Ruby's house for his daily feed.
Ruby was a dark-eyed, big breasted lady, who, in spite of herself,
gradually became aroused as Mendel lapped at her ripe breasts.
One day as he quietly lay sucking, she whispered to him, "
Tell me Mr. Rugelbaum, do you like it?"
"Mmmm, wonderful," he sighed.
"is there....," she hesitated, her lips parted, eyes aglow,
"is there anything else you'd like?"
"As a matter of fact there is," murmured Mendel.
"What?" Ruby asked breathlessly.
Mendel licked his lips.
"Maybe a little cookie?"
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~~ Two friends meet each other on the street.
”Hello! Where are you coming from?” asked Bill.
”Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from the cemetery.
I just buried my mother-in-law” replied Sid.
”I’m so sorry!” said Bill, “But why is your face scratched all over?”.
”It wasn’t so easy!” said Sid, “She put on a hell of a fight!”
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~~ One of the differences between marriage and prostitution is that
in marriage you only have to make a deal with one man.
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~~ A Family, one Monday evening, sat around the fire place and was
discussing Church Finances, that included paying Tithing to the Bishop.
Their little five year old boy heard this, than ran to his bedroom,
grabbed his piggy bank, went to the Mormon Bishop's home and
poured the contents of the piggy bank onto the Bishop's desk.
The Bishop asked, "Is this your tithing?" the little boy said, "No Bishop."
The Bishop than asked him, "Is this your Fast Offering?"
The little boy again said, "No Bishop."
The Mormon Bishop had a puzzeled look about him, and than asked,
"If this is not your tithing or not your Fast Offering, than What is it?"
The little boy said, "It's for you, Bishop,
Mommy and Daddy just told me that you are the poorest Bishop that
we have had."
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Todays Thought: Accept the challenges so that you can feel the
exhilaration of victory.
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