Well, in the 90's again today.....
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Opps...there goes breakfast....
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Nope, only if you buy........
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I got nothing to say........
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Looks like you had a bad one......
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Now that's funny looking........
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A big "HULK" fan.....
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Their keeping warm, while waiting for Mom.....
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He thinks Eno's funny also......
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Space Boxing?? what's the world coming too?
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♥♥♥
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~~ This little old lady went to the store to purchase some dog food
where she was informed by the clerk that there was a policy in place
on old ladies purchasing dog food.
Apparently they've had old ladies go in and buy the food for their pets
and eat it themselves, so they now need to bring proof.
A little ticked, the old lady went back home, got her precious pooch,
and returned to the store, then they sold her the dog food.
She returned to the store the following day to purchase food for her cat
and was advised of the same policy only with cats.
So, the lady stormed out of the store and returned shortly after with her
spiteful Whiskies and was approved to purchase the cat food.
The next day, the old lady went back yet again to the store; only this time,
she was carrying a small black container.
She brought it directly to the clerk and requested that she stick her hand
inside of it.
"Why? What's in it?" the clerk asked.
"Just put your hand in here," the old lady demanded.
"No thank you, how do I know there's nothing in it that won't chomp on
me?"
"I can assure you, there's nothing in it that will bite you!"
After briefly hesitating, the clerk gave in and put her hand in the container
and felt the contents.
She immediately pulled them out to examine them screamed.
Standing on the other side of the counter, the old lady was smiling and
asked "do I have your approval now to purchase some toilet paper?"
(Don't fool around with old people!)
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~~ Q: What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?
A: A power failure.
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~~ Arnold is out doing some shopping when he meets Lionel.
They haven't seen each other for many years.
"So what are you doing with yourself these days, Lionel?" asks Arnold.
"Well," replies Lionel, "I used to work for a bank but I retired last year."
"Lucky old you," says Arnold, "so what do you do with yourself all day?"
"I get up late each morning," replies Lionel, "have my breakfast and then
lie down on my veranda and relax.
At midday I go inside for some lunch.
Then I go outside and lie on my veranda again.
At the end of the day, I have dinner and drink only the finest of wines.
Then I light up a good cigar.
Later on, I go lie on my veranda again.
"Wow," says Arnold, "that sounds fantastic to me.
I envy you.
Please God I should make enough money to retire soon."
When Arnold gets home, he tells his wife Nancy all about his
conversation with Lionel.
After hearing Arnold's story, Nancy asks, "Did he tell you his wife's
name?"
"I'm not sure," replies Arnold, "but I think it's Veranda."
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~~ Ethel, a little old lady with a lovely smile, makes a living selling roses
on a street corner for $2.00 a rose.
Fred, on the other hand, works for a bank in the same street and is
doing very well for himself.
Fred has always felt sorry for Ethel and whenever he leaves his office f
or lunch and passes Ethel, he always gives her $2.00.
But Fred never takes a rose from her and although this has been going
on for two years, the two of them have never spoken to each other.
One day, as Fred passes Ethel and leaves his usual $2.00 Ethel speaks
to him for the first time.
"I appreciate your business, sir.
You really are my best customer, but I must point out to you that the
price of a rose has now gone up to $2.50."
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~~ Q: What's purple and surrounded by water?
A: Grape Britain.
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~~ (my Mom used to do this...)
Before the cleaning lady arrives it is necessary to vacuum the entire
house and straighten up all the rooms because she works for friends
of yours the other six days of the week, and you don't want her to tell
them how you really live.
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~~ A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates.
To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to
see St. Peter.
But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down
the long line to where the lawyer was standing.
St. Peter greeted him warmly.
Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands
and guided him up to the front of the line into a comfortable chair by
his desk.
The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so
special?"
St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed
your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"
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~~ The woman who has a gift for old age, is the woman who delights
in comfort.
If warmth is known as the blessing it is, if your bed, your bath, your
best-liked food and drink are regarded as fresh delights,
then you know how to thrive when old.
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~~ A man walks into a bar, sits down, and says to the guy next to him,
"Hey, you wanna hear a great Polish joke?"
"Listen, pal," the guy replies.
"I'm Poland's kick-boxing champion.
My two friends here are both world-ranked judo masters, and they're
Polish, too......... Now, you still want to tell that joke?"
"Nah," the man replies, "I don't feel like explaining it three times."
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~~ Not expecting to do at all well in the economics exam,
Darrell, was heartened by the first question: In any given year, and to
the nearest ton, how much wheat did the United States export?
Smiling confidently, Darrell wrote, "1492; none."
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Todays Thought: To make a person happy,
fill his hands with work, his heart with affection,
his mind with purpose, his memory with useful knowledge,
his future with hope, and his stomach with food.
◄(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)¤(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)►
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