Were are going to have a good weekend for a change.....
16 days from spring.......
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I am glad it never got this cold here.....that looks cold.
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Breakfast time already??
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Okay, you all go to sleep....
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Gotta keep your baby's strapped in....just in case...
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How about this cake.....looks cool....
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Damn...Pete...I gotta lose some butt....ya think?
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Oh...My....
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Pete...I would give you a ride, but I havn't figgered how to steer
this thing yet....and I don't know about going down the other
side of the mountain..... I mean......SPLAT!
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Play it again Sam !.....
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♥♥♥
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~~ Q: What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
A: I-tentacle twins.
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~~ "I've learned that the easiest way to find happiness is to quit
complaining." Age 19
"I've learned that Santa Claus has good years and bad years." Age 10
"I've learned that true happiness is when your newborn sleeps through
the night" Age 30
"I've learned that you should never lend your brother your allowance."
Age 11
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~~ "Sometimes," complained the presidential aide,
"I wish we had a pope instead of a president.
Then we'd only have to kiss his ring."
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~~ While on vacation in a busy tourist area, Bobbie called a cafe to
make reservations for 7:00 pm.
Checking her book, the cheery hostess said, "I'm sorry, but all we have
is 6:45 pm. Would you like that?"
"That's fine," Bobbie replied.
"Okay," the hostess confirmed.
Then she added, "Just be advised that you may have to wait 15 minutes
for your table."
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~~ A man met his neighbor over the garden fence.
"It's your Leanne's birthday today, isn't it?! said the neighbor.
"Wish her happy birthday from me.
How old is she?"
"She's twelve.
And do you know what she said to me this morning?"
She said: 'Dad, don't worry, I won't have sex for another four years.'
I tell you, she gets more like her mother every day!"
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~~ The Israeli soldier had been in the army only a week, but already
he was sick of the long hours and regimentation.
He asked his superior officer for leave.
The officer laughed and said he could have a weekend pass under one
condition: He had to capture a Syrian tank.
Undaunted, the soldier left and an hour later returned with a spanking
new Syrian tank.
Shocked, the commanding officer walked over as the soldier climbed
from the hatch.
"I don't believe it!" he said, running his hand along the bazooka plate.
You must tell me how you did it."
"Simple," said the soldier.
"I drove into the DMZ, saw a Syrian soldier, asked him if he wanted a
weekend pass, and we swapped tanks."
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~~ A woman getting her hair cut asked the hairdresser when would be
the best time to bring in her two-year-old son for his first haircut.
The hairdresser replied: "When he's four."
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~~ A few Warning Labels On a child's buggy:
*Remove Child Before Folding' Other funny health and safety mentions
were:
* Warning label on a letter opener that says: 'Caution: Safety goggles
recommended.
* Fuel Tank Cap: 'Never use a lit match or open flame to check the fuel
level'
* A cartridge for a laser printer warns, 'Do not eat toner'
* The label on a bottle of drain cleaner warns: 'If you do not understand,
or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings,
do not use this product.'
* A warning on an electric drill made for carpenters cautions:
'This product not intended for use as a dental drill.'
* A dishwasher carries this warning:
'Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher.'
* 'The Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used as a writing
instrument for signing checks or any legal documents.'
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~~ Two little old ladies Were sitting under a shade tree talking.
One of the ladies asks her friend if she knew that her husband was
chasing that new young waitress down at the dinner.
Yea I know all about that
You're not mad at him?
No,See that dog over there? It chases after cars.
You think he would know what to do with it if he caught it?
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~~ When my boss returned to the office, he was told that everyone
had been looking for him.
That set him off on a speech about how indispensable he was to the
company.
"Actually," interrupted his assistant,........
"you left with the key to the stationary closet."
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Todays Thought: Little minds talk about people, Average minds talk about events,
And Great minds talk about ideas.
(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)¤(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)
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