Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning, Neighbors....
getting ready for rain.....
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I don't know if I want an Espresso...

need just a cup of coffee.....

See, here's another one that needs coffee.....

Don't let him fall on ya, kitty!!

Wow....your the master.....right!

Oh, no.......

I bet you do....she'll tear that nose up....

Nobody's this dumb...can't be!

Opps..A fine, upstanding gentleman, he is!

Pete's always hungry.....

I guess I'll leave on that one!

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♥♥♥

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~~ The old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school

one day a week.
He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the
states, and asked them how many states they could name.
They came up with about 40 names.
He jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the
states.
One lad raised his hand and said,
"Yes, but in those days there were only 13."

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~~ When I worked as a rural-area school-bus driver, I had a young child
come up to me crying because his older brother was picking on him.
In an attempt to stop the child from crying, I said, "If I give you a dollar,
will you stop crying?"
The child sniffed and replied, "No. But I'll stop for five dollars."

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~~ During a stay at the hospital for shoulder surgery, I realized how
overworked the nurses were.
Wearing my hospital gown, booties and a sling, with bandages covering
my shoulder, I stepped out to the nursing station to search for some
assistance.
A nurse looked up from her desk and said, "Can I help you?"
I replied that I was looking for new bandages for my shoulder.
"Are you a patient here?" she asked.

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~~ Victor and Jenny have always wanted a son to join their two
stunningly gorgeous teenage daughters and so they try one last time
for their boy.
After months of trying Jenny gets pregnant and nine months later
delivers a healthy baby boy.
Victor is at first ecstatic but as soon as he sees his son he is horrified,
it's the ugliest baby he's ever seen.
He turns to Jenny and says, "This can't be my son, Jenny.
Anyone can tell this just by looking at the two beautiful daughters I've
fathered. Have you been unfaithful to me?"
Jenny smiles sweetly and replies. "No, not this time."

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~~ AUTOBIOGRAPHY: A work of fiction in which the author is the hero.

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~~ First you forget names,
then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down...

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~~ Whoever said "You can't keep a good man down" didn't own a couch.

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~~ After many discussions with my 16-year-old-son, Travis
about pulling his pants up and wearing a belt,
I took matters into my own hands.
The morning we were to pick up a couple of his friends for a sleepover.
I went to get dressed and returned wearing a thong and jeans that were
too big for me.
With the waist of the jeans sitting on my hips, I told Travis that if I had
to walk around looking at his buns, he would have to see mine, too!
He quickly raced to his room to get his belt.
I don't think he has since removed that belt, even when he goes to sleep.

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~~ You know they are developing a new wine for older men.
It's called Pino More.

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~~ Pete was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people
running towards him.
He stopped one of the runners and asked: "What's happening?"
The runner replied breathlessly: "A lion has escaped from the city zoo."
"Oh my God! Which way is it heading?"
"Well you don't think we're chasing it, do you?"

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~~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth,
think of Algebra.
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Todays Thought:  Unexpected money is a delight.

The same sum is a bitterness when you expected more.

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