Calling for weather in the 60's but rain tomorrow,
and through the week end....
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See, we still have piles of snow around the house...
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Iron a kitten??
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Cat cave?? great bed....huh?
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What can you say.....
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Hot dog, anyone?
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Look at them hotdogs.....
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I don't know were he is.....but its gotta be cold....
and I'm glad I an't there........
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How about a godd long bike ride?
I got the goodies......
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Yea.....save the water....be a greenie.....
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♥♥♥
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~~ A guy named Pete is sitting in a bar mouthing off that he knows everybody.
So his buddy Gus bets $10 the next person to walk in the bar
didn't know him.
Somebody walks in the bar and says "Hey Pete what's up?"
so Gus then bets him $100 he doesn't know the first person they see
outside walking down the street.
So they go outside and see some one comes up to the bar and says
"Hey Pete how are things going?".
Flustered then Gus bets him $500 he doesn't know the President.
So they drive up to the white house and the security guard says
"Pete you know you can't just show up here like this."
Then a limo pulls up with the president in it and he rolls down the
window and says "Hey Pete how have you been?"
So then Gus bets him $1000 he doesn't know the Pope.
So they take a plane down to Rome and he says"
Ok now watch up there on that balcony .........
I'm gonna come out up there with the Pope."
So he goes up there and looks down to see Gus passed out.
He goes down there and says "Are you that surprised that I know the
Pope?"
Gus sez; "No somebody walked behind me and said who's that guy
up there with Pete?!"
☺
~~ Smartness runs in my family.
When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class
for five years.
☺
~~ When a toothpaste company got into trouble because of the amount
of fluoride that their product contained, they decided to hold an open
house at their factory to reduce public concern.
Unfortunately, one of the touring groups accidentally became locked
in the refrigerated storeroom, where they all died.
The following day, the local newspaper headline exclaimed,
"Tooth Company Freeze a Crowd."
☺
~~ I want to be a bear......
If you're a bear, you get to hibernate.
You do nothing but sleep for six months....... I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid
I could deal with that too.
If you're a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts)
while you are sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs.
I could definitely deal with that.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.
You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too..... I could deal with that.
If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.
He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
Yup...... I want to be a bear!
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~~ Hourly Rate
Sign seen in repair shop (directed at customers):
Hourly rate: $10.50
Hourly rate if you sit and watch: $12.50
Hourly rate if you sit, watch, and comment: $15.50
Hourly rate if you sit, watch, comment, and "help": $20.00
☺
~~ The new father ran out of the delivery room and announced to the rest
of his family who were waiting for the news: "We had twins!"
The family was so excited they immediately asked,
"Who do they look like?"
The father paused, smiled, and said, "Each other!"
☺
~~ One of our hotel guests complained to me about a spraying
showerhead: "I can't get in the shower without getting wet!"
☺
~~ An eight-year-old boy went into a grocery store and picked out a
large box of laundry detergent.
The grocer walked over and asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
"Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog."
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog," said the grocer.
"It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick.
In fact, it might even kill him."
But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the
counter and paid for it.
A week later, the boy was back in the store to buy some candy.
The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.
"Oh, he died," the boy said.
The grocer said he was sorry, but added, "I tried to tell you not to use
that detergent on your dog."
"Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him."
"Oh? What was it then?"
"I think it was the spin cycle!"
☺
~~ A woman at my friend's pet shop pointed to a Labrador puppy.
"I want that one," she said....... "But I don't want the floor model."
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~~ A Dubliner proposes to his girlfriend on Saint Patrick's Day and
gives her a ring with a synthetic diamond.
"You cheap bum!" she yells. "This isn't even real."
"I know," he says.
"But in honor of Saint Patrick, I thought I would buy you a sham-rock."
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~~ Yesterday I got even with my dentist.
When he was finished I said, "This may hurt a little...........
Doc...I don't have any money."
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Todays Thought: A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)¤(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)
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