We're just waiting for spring.....
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"Maggie"sez; You woke me for this.......
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pretty picture, taken at Shadwell looking at "Monticello"and "Montibello"
or Browns Mountain on the other Mountain...
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What are you trying to do? push me off?
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Watchin the breakfast menue swim by.....
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Oh...Noes....Medic...Medic......
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gots ta hav ma fruit in tha morning....
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Looks like plastic, feels like rubber....
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Yep, looks just like her,or him?
Real security.......
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Honk,..Honk, outta the way....Run Hoopies.....
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♥♥♥
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~~ Paddy was in New York .
He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street
crossing.
The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.'
Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.
He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.
After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time,
Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics
across?'
☺
~~ Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an
important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me.
If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the
rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!'
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'
☺
~~ "Another blizzard in New York.
I saw a cop yesterday and he was up to his neck in snow.
I said, 'Wow, you're having a rough day.'
He said, 'Yeah, it's even rougher on my horse.'"
-David Letterman
☺
~~ An elderly couple were competing in their golf club's annual seniors'
tournament.
On the final hole, the wife had to make a six-inch putt to tie with the
leading score, but she missed and they lost out on their chance of victory.
In the car on their way home, the husband was still angry about the miss.
"I can't believe you didn't hole that putt," he snapped.
"It was no longer than my willy!"
"Yes dear," she replied.......... "But it was much harder!"
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~~ The man who impulsively got a cat despite his allergies later realized
that it was a rash decision.
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~~ After I bought my mother a compact-disc player and some CDs,
she was excited to discover she no longer needed to rewind or
fast-forward tapes or move the needle on her record player.
Knowing she was not that technically astute, I called her a few days
later to see how she was managing.
"Fine. I listened to Shania Twain this morning," she said.
"The whole CD?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "just one side."
☺
~~ My friend is a Botox junkie, she can't stop getting the injections.
But surprisingly, when I reminded her to get her flu shot, she shuddered.
"I hate needles," she said.
I had a solution: Just pretend it will make your arm look younger."
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~~ While I was waiting to see the dentist, a woman came out of his inner
office smiling.
Nodding to me, she said, "Thank goodness my work is completed.
I'm so glad to have found a painless dentist and one who's so gentle
and understanding too."
When seated in the dentist chair, I related the incident to the doctor.
He laughed and explained,
"Oh, that was just my Mother."
☺
~~ Men always want to be a woman's first love...Women have a more
subtle instinct...What they like is to be a man's last romance.
☺
~~ I went to the store the other day to pick out a new tie for an
upcoming wedding.
I found one that matched my suit but it didn't have a price tag on it.
So I asked the clerk, "Hey, buddy, how much is this tie?"
He said, "Seventy-five dollars."
I said, "What! I can buy a pair of shoes with that kind of money."
He said, "Maybe, but how would a pair of shoes look around your neck?"
☺
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Todays Thought; "True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable."
(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)¤(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)
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