It's usally gone by now.... Summerld and Snowman sent the snow
down to us..... We owe ya.... payback is a dog......
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Still goes lot on the ground.....
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Ny cats don't like it ether, cold on their feet....
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Good lookin pups.....
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Okay, Okay I'm opening the can now!!
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Oh, My....Bubba...dom't shoot...I give up....
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Now..thats cool.......
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No, no, Hoopie....that's jail time...
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Wake up!! your stop was 3 blocks back....
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Ninja cat?..I still don't like hairless cats.....
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No, SIR....No problem...I'm leaving..Sir.
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♥♥♥
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~~ When filing your income tax remember that it is better to give than to deceive..
☺
~~ When Rod's wife ran away he got so depressed that his doctor
sent him to see a psychiatrist. Rod told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, "Life isn't worth living."
"Don't be stupid, Rod," said the psychiatrist.
"Let work be your salvation.
I want you to totally submerge yourself in your work.
Now, What do you do for a living?"
"I clean out septic tanks." Rod replied.
☺
~~ A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character.
She charged that he had called her a pig.
The man was found guilty and fined.
After the trial he asked the judge, Does this mean that I cannot call
Mrs. Johnson a pig?"
The judge said that was true.
"Does this mean I cannot call a pig, 'Mrs. Johnson'?" the man asked.
The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig 'Mrs. Johnson' with no
fear of legal action.
The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said...
"Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson!"
☺
~~ red adair was unavailable, and there was a well fire that could not be
put out.
The secretary overhears the foremans conversations,
and says my brothers and his friends can put it out! no??
The foreman says, if your brother and his friends can put it out,
I'll pay them a million dollars!
The next morning at dawn, a truck load of rednecks comes flying down
the dirt road leading to the well. the truck smashes into the well,
it temporarly stops spewing crude, and the rednecks get off the truck,
and start kicking dirt on it.
The fire is put out.
the foreman says to Jim-bob, that was amazing!!!
Heres your million bucks... what do you plan to do with it!!!
then Jim-bob says, well the first thing I plan to do is fix the brakes on
that damn truck!!!!
☺
~~ While driving cross-country, a driver noticed a large sign above a
gas station.
It read, "State line 2 miles. Last chance for $1.92 cent gas."
The driver checked his gas gauge and decided to fill up.
"By the way," he said to the attendant before driving away,
"just how much is gas in the next state?"
"Oh," said the attendant, "about $1.80 cents a gallon."
☺
~~ At the supermarket, I noticed a woman with four boys and a baby.
Her patience was wearing thin as the boys called out,
"Mommy! Mommy!" while she tried to shop.
Finally, she blurted out, "I don't want to hear the word mommy for at
least ten minutes!"
The boys fell silent for a few seconds.
Then one tugged on his mother's dress and said softly,
"Excuse me, miss."
☺
~~ Q: What's the difference between a church and a movie theater?
A: In church they say, "Pray in the name of Jesus."
In a movie theater they say, "Shut up, for Christ's sake!"
☺
~~ The teacher was trying to impress upon her pupils the importance
of doing right at all times, and to bring out the answer, "Bad habits,"
she inquired: "What is it that we find so easy to get into and so hard to
get out of?"
There was silence for a moment and then one little fellow answered "Bed."
☺
~~ My wife I and are approaching our 76th birthdays, and for the
most part, we feel fine.
A few weeks ago we had just gotten into bed when I noticed my
wife taking an extra amount of time smoothing out her nightgown,
then pulling up the covers and smoothing them out, and then finally
going to work smoothing out her pillow.
After watching all this activity for a while, I finally asked,
"What are you doing?"
"Well," she replied, "I don't like to sleep on wrinkles."
I replied. "At our age, how can you avoid it?"
☺
~~ PATIENT: Will you give me something for my head?
DOCTOR: I wouldn't take it as a gift.
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Todays Thought; To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Can't believe all the snow you have Gus!! My tulips are up about 4"!
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