of snow on the ground, and now more on the way......
The lights keep going off and on. Plus my puter went south,,,
Using an 15 year old puter I had in the attic...on dial up...
so you know it's slow. So you gotta bare with me.....
I'll do what I can.........
~
That's what I said when the puter went out...
~
You both won't fit in there........
~
Okay,,,Okay...I'll wash them....damn it....
~
Bling..bling.......
~
Have a seat.....
~
~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~ A man and his four-year-old son were watching a professional
football game on TV. After a bad play, the father exploded:
"Just look at that stupid halfback! He fumbles three times,
and every time the other team recovers! Why do they let
someone like that play in the game?"
The little boy thought it over. "Daddy," he said,
"maybe it's his ball."
***
~~ Lionel is getting quite bald and his elder daughter's wedding
is coming up.
All his friends and family would be there, and,
well,even men can be vain.
He gets fitted with an expensive toupee.
On the wedding day, everything went well.
Nevertheless, Lionel thought that everyone must have seen his
toupee.
Next day, his youngest daughter sees his worried look and says,
"What's the matter, Daddy?
Why are you so sad?"
"I'm not really sad, darling," he replies,
"it's just that I'm sure everyone yesterday saw that I was wearing
a wig."
"No they didn't, Daddy," she says, "No one I told knew."
***
~ An accountant read a nursery rhyme to his young child.
Afterwards he said: "No son, when Little Bo Peep lost her
sheep, that wouldn't be tax deductible.
But I like your thinking."
***
~~ Gus: I know a football player that is so tough.
Pete: How tough is he?
Gus: 1st: He's so tough, he parts his hair with a chain saw.
2nd: He's so tough, he uses barbed wire for dental floss,
3rd: He's so tough, he gargles with Drano.
Pete: now that is tough.....
***
~~ An elderly doctor visited a woman patient at her home.
"Could you fetch me a hammer from the garage?" he asked
the woman's husband.
The husband fetched the hammer.
"Right" said the old doctor a couple of minutes later.
"now I'd like you to get me some pliers, a screwdriver and
a hacksaw..
The husband became alarmed at the last request and asked
anxiously: "Just exactly what are you going to do to my wife?"
The old doctor replied:
"Nothing until I can get my medical bag open."
*
~~ A mountaineer took his son to a school to enroll him.
"My boy's after larning', what d'ya have?" he asked the teacher.
"We offer English, trigonometry, spelling, etc.," she replied.
"Well, give him some of that thar trigernometry;
he's the worst shot in the family."
***
~~ A woman said to her friend: "Whenever I'm down in the
dumps I buy myself a dress."
"Really?" said the friend.
"I've always wondered where you got them."
***
~~ My first-grade son was eager to boast of his new
accomplishment, knowing the whole Pledge of Allegiance.
He said it: "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States
of America, and to the republic for which it stands,
one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
You may sit down."
***
~~ "In Japan, they have developed a new green machine that
turns regular paper into toilet paper.
Kind of like what Wall Street did with the dollar." -Jay Leno
~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
I won't be able to post every day for awhile...
It takes me two hours to post....this computer is too slow.....
Keeps cutting off too....So, I'll do what I can......
************************************************
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