Everyone doing okay? cold here....
Snow still lingering, with some ice......
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Just what I need to get around in this stuff.....
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Hey! Bubba.....empty the trash....not balence it....
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I could use one of these...how about you "witchy?"
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Back off Bubba.....or else!!
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Waiting for the toast to pop up are ya?
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It's for you, Hoopie.....
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An't she a cute?
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Row, damn it...ROW!
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It's already too high.....
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♥♥♥
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~~ If hypocrisy were gold, the Capitol would be Fort Knox.
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~~ "First lady Michelle Obama just launched a campaign to combat
childhood obesity called 'Let's Move.'
And this evening, obese children started their own program called
'Let's Not.'"
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~~ Six-year-old Wyatt sat patiently waiting in the examining room for the
doctor with his mother Alexis.
"Look at that table," he said pointing to the stirrups on the examining
table.......... "Are those cup holders?"
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~~ As an engineer in an upscale hotel, I was asked to repair or replace
the television in a guest room.
When I arrived, the couple was watching a picture one-third the size of
the screen.
I knew all our spare sets were in use, so I figured what the heck...I struck
the side of the TV with the heel of my hand.
The picture returned to full size.
"Look, honey," said the wife to her husband.
"He went to the same repair school as you."
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~~ While auditing one of our departments, an assistant asked me what
I was doing.
"Listing your assets," I told her.
"Oh," she said.
"Well, I have a good sense of humor and I make great lasagna."
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~~ I was one of the few adults enrolled in ballet and tap lessons
offered by our parks department.
As it turned out, I was the only adult male in our recital.
The day of the show, I was warming up while my wife, Karen,
helped several mothers put costumes on their children.
"And which little darling is yours?" asked one mother.
My wife pointed to me and said, "That's him with the moustache."
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~~ You know.....It's really incredible how little our parents knew about
child psychology and how great we turned out to be.
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~~ Travelling from the East Coast to Oregon, I was looking forward to
sampling seafood from the Pacific Ocean.
At a small open-air restaurant, I selected the clam chowder.
"Is it fresh?" I asked the waitress.
"Oh yes," she replied...... "We opened the can just this morning."
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~~ "Good heavens! Who did your hair? It looks like a wig!"
"It is a wig."
"Really? You could never tell."
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~~ Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your
success as a millionaire to?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire!"
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~~ The first time my son was on a bike with training wheels,
I shouted, "Step back on the pedals and the bike will brake!"
He nodded but still rode straight into a bush.
"Why didn't you push back on the pedals?"
I asked, helping him up.
"You said if I did, the bike would break."
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Todays Thought: "Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes.
Art is knowing which ones to keep."
(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)?(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)
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