Down Hummingbird Lane

 Good morning...friends and neighbors.....
A nice cool morning....13º degrees....
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I'z coold......

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Now this is an ice storm!, glad I were not there.....

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Hey!! that's not breakfast....

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You an't big enough for that breakfast...

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Hey...Bubba, thats not yours....dat mine......

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A couch..DUI...we gotta take a breathalizer test.....

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Now drive it......

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A better Question is; "WHY".....↑↑..

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My Fav.....

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Well, let me get outta here.......

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♥♥♥

~~ My cheeky neighbors came around to complain about my

baby daughter crying late at night.
I said, "She's a baby: she cries; that's what babies do.
What do you want me to do about it?"
They said, "Bring her inside."

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~~ Santa recalled my gifts last night.
Yeah......
said he made a mistake on the good and bad list.
Left a consolation gift though...a sack of reindeer poop.

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~~ Some very good news and a little bad news
First, the bad news:
We're being invaded by Martians!
And now, the good news:
They eat politicians and pee gasoline!!!

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~~ There are small towns and there are s-m-a-l-l towns;
R-ville was so small it had a fraction for a zipcode.
It was so small, in fact, it didn't have a godfather of crime,
it had a nephew.

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~~ Did you know.....
"Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the
left hand.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament
Building is an American flag.

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~~ A Bishop was approached one morning by a Priest.
"Your Eminence," the Priest said, "there's a young lady here who
claims to be seeing a vision of our Savior in the chapel.
What should I do?"
The Bishop jumped up saying, "Well, I don't know about you,
but I'm gonna look real busy!"

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~~ A company was doing an English-language movie where,
at one point, an exhausted messenger was supposed to dash in,
collapse, and gasp out a vital message in Swahili.
They even found someone who knew the language, and the
scene worked beautifully in the movie...until it played in an African
town where Swahili was well- known.
A moment of high drama nose-dived into comedy as the panting
messenger gasped out:
"I don't think I am being paid enough for this part!"

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~~ One day shortly before leaving office, Teddy Roosevelt,
in the process of planning an Africa safari, discovered that
certain a legendary big-game hunter was visiting Washington
and invited the man to drop by to impart some advice.
Visiting Roosevelt at the White House, the hunter, after a two
hour meeting, emerged from the president's office in something
of a daze.
"What did you tell the president?" someone asked.
"My name," the baffled man replied.
"After that he did all the talking!"

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~~ One day last fall, I saw a flock of geese flying south,
and all the kids were honking, "Are we there yet?"

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~~ My son was seven when his friends told him about Santa.
He came home and blurted out, "Mom and Dad, I'm so mad at
you!
Once I grew up, got married, had kids and tucked them into bed
on Christmas Eve, we'd have been waiting and waiting for Santa.
And the kids wouldn't have had any gifts to open in the morning
--all because you didn't tell me!"
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Todays Thought;  "I won't mind dying if I can tell St. Peter a joke he hasn't heard."

(Red Skelton...)