50º degrees today....but a cold snowy,
weekend coming up.....
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Here's the latest addition to Vancouver Harbour....
the Winter Olympics rings have been illuminated....
Thanks, Carol......
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Do you think I could ride this up there?
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No....we'll turn it up....cat stew...
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Gonna get a bigger couch......
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Dance away.....
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Hoppy is that you?
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Got any big fish?.....
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Lets go swimming..... are you chicken?
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Golly....
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♥♥♥
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~~ As part of his weekly supermarket shop, a man went to the
meat counter to buy a pack of boneless chicken breasts but
was disappointed because they were all too small.
So he complained to the butcher and she promised to pack up
some more and to have them ready for him by the time he had
finished his shopping.
He continued with the rest of his shopping until a few aisles
further on, he heard her voice boom out over the public address
system: "Will the gentleman who was looking for bigger breasts
please meet me at the back of the store."
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~~ Jim was seconds away from having a vasectomy when
his brother and sister-in-law barged in holding their newborn baby.
"Stop" exclaimed the brother. "You can't go through with this!"
"And why not?" asked Jim.
"Don't you want to have a beautiful baby some day,
like my wife and I have here?"
Jim said nothing.
The brother grew impatient.
"Come on, Jim, I want a nephew.
Make me an uncle."
Jim couldn't take any more of this.
He gave his sister-in-law an apologetic look and asked his brother:
"Are you sure you want a nephew?"
"Absolutely," said the brother.
"Well, congratulations," said Jim, "You're holding him!"
☺
~~ When caught speeding, a soldier on military leave tried to
talk the policewoman out of giving him a ticket.
He inquired, "Would it make a difference if I told you that I'm in
the Air Force?"
The police officer answered, "Yes, but only if you were driving an
airplane."
☺
~~ An elderly lady fills out the registration form at a doctor's office.
After the address, the form asks for "Zip" She writes,
"Not bad for my age!"
☺
~~ A man was going through the factory of a company that
made plastic shapes.
As he arrived, a huge number of horse's heads had rolled off
the line. Puzzled, he asked, "What do you do with these horse's
heads?"
His guide said, "We send them to Washington for final assembly!"
☺
~~ A university professor is lecturing a class, the subject for the
day being the mating habits of the alligator.
The professor says, "The female alligator lays three million four
hundred thousand eggs at one time.
The male alligator eats three million, three hundred and
ninety-five of those eggs."
From the back of the room, a student raises his hand and asks,
"Sir, why does the male alligator eat all those eggs?"
The professor answers, "Because if he didn't we'd be up to our
asses in alligators!"
☺
~~ My husband, Mike, and I had several stressful months of
financial difficulties.
So one evening I was touched to see him gazing at the diamond
wedding ring that symbolized our marriage.
"With this ring..." I began romantically.
"We could pay off Visa," he responded.
☺
~~ A mess officer was bugged because too much bread was
being left over.
Some of the soldiers complained that it was too hard.
The mess officer said, "If Napoleon's troops had that bread,
They'd have eaten it down to the last crumb."
A young soldier said, "I believe that, sir.... But it was fresh then!"
☺
~~ New York Tribune founder Horace Greeley (1811-1872),
who insisted that the word "news" was plural, once sent a
telegram to a Tribune staffer: "ARE THERE ANY NEWS?"
Replied the staffer: "NOT A NEW."
☺
~~ One of the many funny stories told about President
George Bush concerns a visit he once made to an old people's
home.
After speaking to a few of the residents, the president asked of
one old lady, "Do you know who I am?"
"No" came the snappy reply,
"but I'm sure if you ask at reception they'll be able to tell you."
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Todays Thought: "Fair" and "justice" is a myth propounded by lawyers who seek
and obtain half.
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