A nice Saturday....but rain and cold tomorrow.....
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Breakfast??
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Hey. I know I'm not cool....I'm just a slow and easy lover....
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Hey....you stole my breakfast....come back here.....
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Now, this is a cool picture.....
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A nice picture....(Snowbirds?)
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Lightning hitting the worlds tallest building.....
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Fast way down the stairs....
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The World's Biggest Disco Ball over Paris......
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Opppps...Need about 6 big guys....
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♥♥♥
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~~ Husbands should come with a surgeon general warning
because taking them in causes major health problems...
.
~~ A priest lived next door to a rabbi.
They were always jealous of each other.
Whatever one did, the other would try to outdo.
If one had a Jacuzzi in his back yard, another would have a
swimming pool.
One day the priest came home with a brand new Mercedes.
Not to be outdone, the rabbi bought a brand new Bentley.
The rabbi is watching TV when he hears funny sounds.
He looks out the window and sees the priest baptizing his new
car with holy water.
The priest feels satisfied and goes indoors, all smug.
He is reading the paper and hears strange buzzing sound.
He looks out the window and sees the rabbi sawing 1” off the
exhaust pipe.
.
~~ A soldier was trying to sidle out of camp unnoticed, but was
seen by the guard.
The guard asked him for his pass.
The soldier said, "Look, buddy, I don't have any old pass,
but that don't bother me none.
I have a date with my girl in town.
I'm fixing to keep it."
The guard stopped him. "If you try to get pass this gate,
I'm afraid. I might have to shoot you."
The soldier shrugged his shoulders and replied.
"I've got a mother up in heaven, a daddy down in hell,
and a gal in town.
And I'm going to see one of them tonight!"
.
~~ A communication technician drafted by the army was at a
firing range.
At the range, he was given some instruction, a rifle and 50
rounds.
He fired several shots at the target.
The report came from the target area that all attempts had
completely missed the target.
The technician looked at his weapon, and then at the target.
He looked at the weapon again, and then at the target again.
He then put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and
squeezed the trigger with his other hand.
The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward
the target area: "It's leaving here just fine,
the trouble must be at your end!"
.
~~ I telephoned my 12-year-old son, Kyle, from work and asked
him to go down to the laundry room and take the clothes out of
the washer and put them into the dryer.
About 20 minutes later, he phoned me back and asked me if
I would like him to turn the dryer on.
.
~~ Our favorite museum in town displays quilts from around
the country.
When I visited recently, I asked the woman at the front desk
about a senior discount.
It wasn't to be.
"Sir," she said, "this is a quilt museum.
We give discounts to teenagers."
.
~~ I turned to my father one night and said, "It's amazing...
50 years and you never once had an affair.
How do you account for that?"
He replied, "I can't drive."
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~~ Desperate to use a payphone, a visitor to town searched
high and low, and when he eventually found one,
it was already occupied.
Hoping that the man inside the kiosk wouldn't be long, the visitor
waited impatiently outside, constantly looking at his watch.
In an attempt to convey a sense of urgency, the visitor kept
staring at the man on the phone but soon noticed that he wasn't
actually saying anything.
As the minutes passed, the visitor kept looking, nodding and
pointing to his watch, but the guy inside paid no attention and
just stood there with the phone in his hand, saying nothing into
the receiver.
After a quarter of an hour, the guy inside had still not said a word
into the phone.
Thinking that he was being deliberately obstructive and just
wasting time, the visitor finally lost his cool.
Opening the door of the box, he tried to snatch the phone from
the other man's hand.
"Do you mind!" said the guy with the phone.
"I'm talking to my wife!"
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~~ One diagnostic-imaging center claims that its high-tech
medical procedures are second to none.
The center's newspaper advertisement proclaimed,
CT Colonoscopy: No Scope, No Sedation, No Recovery.
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~~ During a dinner party at a small Montmartre café,
Ernest Hemingway was boring the hell out of the other diners
with a long story about Pamplona,
a story he'd told a dozen times before.
Seated against the wall, Gertrude Stein said. "My dear,
my leg has fallen asleep...... Do you mind if I join it?"
.
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Todays Thought: "Laughter is the closest distance between two people."
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