A heat wave here....27º degrees....
Calling for 52º degrees Friday....open the pool.....
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Good exercising?? what happens when one gets stabbed??
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I love this, I can just see this happening...
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Yea...I gotta go.......
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Watch it...don't smack......
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I an't no fool....no way.....
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Yep....
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I'd like to see Mr.T do that....
That would be something to see.....
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A seal....Photo bomb...... he thinks it's funny....
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A study group??...yea, Right!!
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Well, as soon as I pay the toll...I'll leave.....
see you later....
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♥♥♥
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~~ On the first day of vacation, the girl fell and broke her leg.
As the doctor examined her, she moaned,
"Why couldn't this have happened on my last day of skiing?"
The doctor replied, "This IS your last day of skiing."
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~~ Pete said: "Which would you rather be in, an explosion or a collision?"
Gus said: "In a collision, anytime."
Pete; "Why?"
Gus; "Well, in a collision, there you are there....
In an explosion, where are you?"
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~~ Pete was having a great deal of trouble with his phone.
After talking to a dozen people at the company, he finally blew
his stack and said to the last party,
"Why don't you take your phone and shove it?"
"Sir, you can't talk that way to us!"
"You shouldn't even have a phone."
"I'm going to see that it's picked up!"
Within an hour, two burly phone company repairmen appeared
at his door.
Pete asked to make one call.
Dialing, he said into the phone, "Are you the lady I told to take
the phone and shove it?"
"Yes I am."
"Get ready........ They're bringing the phone!"
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~~ The principal of a Japanese elementary school figured what
could go wrong when he decided to put on Snow White and the
Seven Dwarfs as the school play?
Teachers chose a cute little girl to play Snow White based on her
talent and desire.
But parents of other cute little girls complained it wasn't fair that
she got to be the star and their daughters didn't.
That's how the school ended up putting on Twenty-five Snow
Whites and the Seven Dwarfs.
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~~ A middle aged woman was driving through a school zone
when a policeman pulled her over for speeding.
As he was giving her the ticket, she said, "How come I always
get a ticket and everyone else gets a warning?
Is it my face?"
"No, ma'am," explained the officer, "it's your foot."
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~~ An Indian official came to Washington to plead his tribe's cause.
It wanted the right to handle all of its own affairs.
The head of the Bureau of Indian Affairs said,
"It would be criminal to hand over those rights.
Indians aren't smart enough to manage their property."
"Sir, do you think I wouldn't have that much brains?"
I'm talking about the average Indian.
You were sent here because you were the smartest man."
The Indian said, "I'm just an average Indian sir.
We Indians are like the rest of the people of the United States,
we never send our smartest men to Washington!"
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~~ Henpecked husband over the phone:
“Doctor, my wife just dislocated her jaw.
If you are in the neighbourhood sometimes next week,
could you pop over and see her?”
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~~ A boy student was baby sitting while we went on a date
and he called to ask this.
"I have 2 questions, can the kids eat marshmallows for dinner
and is it okay to get on the table."
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~~ man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself,
as a man and joined the army.
"But, wait a minute," said the listener, "She'll have to dress with
the boys and shower with them too..... Won't she?"
"Sure," replied the man.
"Well, won't they find out?"
"And who's gonna tell?"
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~~ Our parish priest suddenly became ill and asked his twin
brother, also a priest, to fill in for him and conduct a funeral
Mass scheduled for that day.
His brother, of course, agreed.
It was not until the brother was accompanying the casket down
the aisle, however, that he realized that he had neglected to ask
the gender of the deceased.
This was information that he would need for his remarks during
the service.
Thinking quickly, as he approached the first pew where the
deceased's relatives were seated, he nodded toward the casket
and whispered to one woman, "Brother or sister?"
"Cousin," she replied.
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Todays thought: The average woman would rather have beauty than brains,
because the average man can see better than he can think.
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