Good Morning....Friends....Well looks like we're going to get
a big snow storm for the weekend...and maybe Christmas, too..
I kinda like the snow on Christmas day....
A Good day to Snuggle up with your loved one.....
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POPE BUBBA......
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Their coming out of the wood work.......
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The critter wants water too....
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Feed the Birds....or they will attack.....
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Okay, Okay, Just a couple more... then I'll quit..
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Weird Sharks......
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You don't think??
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I just don't know....how about it "Taz?"
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So that's how it is...Huh!
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♥♥♥
~~ A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected the wedding ring.
As the girl admired the plain platinum and diamond band, she suddenly looked concerned.
"Tell me," she asked the elderly salesman "is there anything
special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?"
With a fatherly smile, the salesman said,
"One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to dip it in
dishwater three times a day."
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~~ A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do
now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon.
Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded,
"If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!"
The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money,
not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would
there be any "we" in the first place."
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~~ Q: What do you get when a guy with Swine Flu picks his nose?
A: Pulled Pork.....
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~~ "As another year rolls in," read an ad in our paper,
"we"d like to offer our best wishes to all of you who have
given us reason to celebrate."....
It was signed "Gunter"s Funeral Homes."
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~~ I bet you have never seen a plumber bite his nails.
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~~ Years of smoking finally caught up with my friend John one
morning when he keeled over at work, clutching his heart.
He was rushed to a hospital and peppered with questions.
"Do you smoke?" asked a paramedic.
"No," John whispered. "I quit."
"That"s good. When did you quit?"
"Around 9:30 this morning."
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~~ Some Gifts Rejected By The Wise Men
An autographed photo of Herod!
An AAA travel guide to Egypt!
A copy of "Following Stars For Fun And Prophet"!
The home version of "Survivor"!
Herod's latest CD: "I Did It MY Way!"
Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh Chia Pets!
The "Ronco Jr. Miracle-making Workshop"!
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~~ A manufacturer retired and moved to the country.
He put on denims, boots, and a plaid shirt, and became a country
gentleman.
An old friend came to visit.
The country gentleman showed him around. In the barn,
chewing at straw nonchalantly, was the farm's pride and joy,
a horse.
The host asked, "Wanna go for a buggy ride?"
"I've never been in a buggy." the guest said.
"I go riding just about every day.
I hitch up and ride through the woods."
The country gentleman started to harness up the horse,
but the animal, happy enough in the barn, resisted having the
bit put in his mouth.
It was obvious that the new farmer had no idea of how to
harness a horse.
After the tenth attempt to get the horse to open its mouth so
the bit could be slipped in, the guest said, ..............
"Why don't you wait until he yawns?"
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~~ Gus, the teenage son, came in from the fields and said,
"I've got to get this damn manure off me."
The assembled ladies of the bridge club were aghast.
When the teenager left the room, one said to his mother,
He shouldn't say 'manure' in the company of ladies."
Tom's mother said, "We should count our blessings.
You don't know how long it took me to get him to say 'manure'!"
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~~ "How does your new uniform fit, soldier?"
"The coat is fine, but the pants are a little loose around the
armpits!"
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~~ Our favorite museum in town displays quilts from around the
country.
When I visited recently, I asked the woman at the front desk
about a senior discount.
It wasn't to be.
"Sir," she said, "this is a quilt museum.
We give discounts to teenagers."
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~~ A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a
brood of 11 children and was blessed with 22 grandchildren.
When asked the secret for staying together all that time,
the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each
other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."
.
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Todays Thoughts: For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
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