Sunny, but chilly....rain tomorrow....
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Who gives a HOOT?......
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Puppies don't care.....a cute fellow.....
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Their just keeping warm this morning.....
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Good Question....just eat it....you know you want it....
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Hammerheads eat meat.... enough said....
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Okay! who's the wise guy that FARTED?
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Gotta have good balence.....
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I'll have a burger please....well done.
And throw a slice of cheese on it please....
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Okay...Okay move already!!
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Well, time to take the kids to school.............
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♥♥♥
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~~ For some of us, a budget is merely a schedule for going into
debt systematically.
.
~~ Three guys are debating who has the best memory.
First guy says, "I can remember the first day of my First Grade
class."
Second guy says, "I can remember my first day at Nursery
School!"
Not to be outdone, the third guy says, "Hell, that's nothing...
I can remember going to the senior prom with my father,
and coming home with my mother!"
.
~~ What children need most are the essentials that grandparents
provide in abundance.
They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort,
lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies.
.
~~ One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor
came out and said, "You had a great checkup.
Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?"
"Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."
"That's a pretty big decision.
Have you talked it over with your family?"
"Yeah, and they're in favor 15 to 2."
.
~~ A man arrived at a walk-in medical clinic, promptly at opening
time, only to find two other men outside, waiting.
The door was still locked.
He knew one of the men and they started talking.
About five minutes later the receptionist came running across the
parking lot, apologizing for being late.
The man turned to his friend and asked, "Are you first in line to
see the doctor?"
"Yes," the other replied.
"Well, I guess I'm third then," he said.
"No," the second man said, "you're second."
"Second? What about you?"
"I'm the doctor."
.
~~ AAAACK - utterance upon running face first into a spider web
and realizing that you don't know where the spider is now.
.
~~ Joe left for a two day trip to Chicago to visit his sisters.
He was only a few blocks away from his house when he realized
he'd left his wallet on top of his dresser.
He turned around and headed back to the house.
He quietly entered the door, walked into the kitchen.
He saw his wife washing the breakfast dishes, wearing her
skimpiest negligee.
She looked so good that he tiptoed up behind her, reached out,
and squeezed her left breast.
"Leave only one quart of milk," she said.
"Joe won't be here for breakfast tomorrow."
.
~~ Have you ever thought of having yourself X-rayed?
I'd like to find out what you see in you.
.
~~ An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is
only willing to marry a man if he has never been (sexually) with
a woman.
After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to
take out a personal ad.
She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire
life in the Australian Outback.
They end up getting married.
On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare
for the festivities.
When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband
standing in the middle of the room, naked…and all the furniture
from the room piled in one corner.
“What happened?” she asks.
“I’ve never been with a woman,” he says.
“But if it’s anything like being with a kangaroo,
I’m gonna need all the room I can get!”
.
~~ After she woke up, a woman told her husband,
"I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's
day. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight," he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and
gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled
"The Meaning of Dreams.".
.
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Todays Thought: If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Philip's Screwdriver?
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