Good Morning Friends.....A chilly 27º this morning...
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Can I help you BUBBA?
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Junk yard in an apartment??
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Look... a Dancing cat.....yea, right!
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Hey! girl....
you gotta get dressed before you go shopping..
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Makes you type fasted??
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Gotta wash the damn car....Hoopie....
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snails crawling on your face...No thanks....
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Yea....This is the one that stinks.....
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Time to leave, if I can find the way out.....
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♥♥♥
.~~ QUESTION: What animal drops from the sky?.....
ANSWER: A reindeer!
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~~ "The largest cruise ship ever built set sail for the first time —
from Finland to Miami.
The ship has a park, golf courses, a shopping mall...all the things
you can do on land with the added excitement of possibly sinking."
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~~ Santa Claus takes a week to distribute the presents,
and we hold the bag for the other fifty-one.
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~~ One Saturday some senior citizens decided, that they would
like to go to a midnight movie at the local cinema.
One lady rang to book the seats and mentioned that they were
all senior citizens.
"Madam," was the reply, "There are no reductions at this time of
night, you should all be in bed."
.
~~ DOCTOR: The best time to take this medicine is just before
retiring.
PATIENT: You mean I don't have to take it until I'm 65 years old?
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~~ A very elderly and frail gentleman turned to his equally old
friend, Ernest, and asked if he could remember the name of the
stuff the army used to put in their cups of tea during World War
Two, to stop the soldiers getting randy in the trenches.
His companion remembered the ingredient but was unable
to recall its name.
He asked, however, why his friend wanted to know.
The answer was, "Well, you know, Ernie, I think it's finally started
to work."
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~~ Words......
* WHETHER - Unpredictable weather.
* TIRELESS - Have a car but have no tires.
* TEENAGERS - People who are doing the things you wish we
had thought of when we were younger.
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~~ CITY KID: Do you like raisin bread?
FARMER: Don't know. Never raised any.
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~~ I answer a lot of questions at the information desk at Olympic
National Park, in Washington State.
But one visitor stumped me:
"Do you have any trails that just go downhill?"
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~~ One seventeenth-century Massachusetts husband was put
in stocks (pillory) alongside his adulterous wife and her lover
because the community reasoned she wouldn’t have strayed
if her husband had been fulfilling his marital obligations.
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~~ Did you hear about the baseball player who was so kind, he wouldn't even hit a fly?
.
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Todays thought: If you aren't living on the edge, then you are taking up too much space..
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