Good day today, but maybe snow this weekend....
.
Hey! Tabby I saw that.......
.
Don't try that stuff on me.....
.
So, thats were my sammach went....
.
Wow! Yogie Thats gotta leave a mark...
.
Good tree house......
.
She couldn't get the mattress up the tree.......
.
Now,...They thought that was funny.......
.
Waters COLD!!
.
She didn't like the surprise.....
.
Well, I gotta go......
.
♥♥♥
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~~ My God!.... How little do my countrymen know what precious
blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people
on earth enjoy! ~Thomas Jefferson~
.
~~ When out shopping at her local supermarket, an elderly
woman forgot where she'd parked.
A nearby police officer, noticing her agitation, asked,
"Is something wrong?"
"I can't find my car," she explained.
"What kind is it?" he inquired sympathetically.
The old lady gave him a quizzical look.... "Name some"
.
~~ An old gentleman was driving on the motorway at his usual
speed, which was far too slow.
A police officer pulled him over and said, "I guess you know why
I stopped you sir?"
"Sure I do," the old gentleman replied,
"I was the only one you could catch!"
.
~~ ARGUMENT (ahr•gyoo•munt) n. A discussion that occurs
when you're right, and continues until he realizes it.
.
~~ A male charity collector knocked on a woman's front door
and asked her if she had any old beer bottles.
She was highly indignant.
"Do I look as if I drink beer?" she snapped.
The collector looked at her and said: "Okay, have you got any
vinegar bottles?"
.
~~ REFEREE: Now remember, at the bell, shake hands.
BOXER: I don't have to remember. Mine are shaking already.
.
~~ Jim needs a job, and has no qualms about inventing the
necessary qualifications.
He reasons that once he finds work, he will impress the boss so
much that everything will be forgiven.
After a successful initial interview at the Encyclopedia of
American History, he is called back to meet the sales manager.
"You say you have experience selling books?"
"Lots of it," replies Jim.
"And you have a Master's in American history from the University
of Michigan?"
"Correct," replies Jim..... "History is my field of study."
"Well then," says the sales manager, "As soon as I can complete
this form, we can get you started in the firm."
While the sales manager is making a few notations, Jim,
obviously pleased with himself, begins to whistle.
Looking around the room, he notices pictures of Washington
and Lincoln on the walls.
Pointing to the portraits, he turns to the sales manager and says,
"Fine looking men....... Your partners?"
.
~~ How many hillbillies does it take eat a 'possum?
- Two. One to eat, and one to watch for cars.
.
~~ When my friend got a job, her husband agreed to share the
housework.
He was stunned by the amount of effort involved in keeping a
house clean with small boys to pick up after,
and insisted that he and his wife shop for a new vacuum cleaner.
The salesman gave them a demonstration of the latest model.
"It comes equipped with all the newest features,"
he assured them.
The husband was not convinced.
"Don't you have a riding one?" he asked.
.
~~ "Russia has announced it's holding its annual beauty pageant
for nuclear power plant workers.
Apparently last year's winner had the most beautiful three eyes
they've ever seen." --Conan O'Brien
.
.
Todays Thought: Karaoke is Japanese for "tone deaf".
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