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If you don't like e blog...I'll get my Lawyer after you...
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Yes, sir....What can I get you??
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Gotta trim the hedges...gettin too tall....
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A sea cucumber, weird cucumber..I no eat!
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Prewasher??...
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Wack um good.....
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I would do anything for a orange drink.....
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Who Knew Missile Defense Could Be So Pretty?
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Oh Oh Micky is coming after me.....
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Well, If I can find my way...I'm outta here.......
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♥♥♥
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~~ An important politician was seen moving around with a film
actress for a couple of months, with whom he finally decided to
plunge into matrimony.
But being cautious, he hired a private detective for the job of
looking into her past and finding out if she had any previous
affairs with any men.
After a few days, the politician at last received his detective's
report, which went like this: "Sir, this lady has a spotless reputation.
Her past is clear, her family and friends all come from a very
respectable background.
No one has anything against her character.
But yes, according to my sources, for the last couple of months
she's been frequently seen flirting with a politician with a dubious
reputation."
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~~ A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' station saying:
"Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are
the most dangerous."
Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too....".
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~~ Pete went to see his Doctor....
Doctor to Pete: I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that you're not a hypochondriac.
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~~ Bobbie said; Talk about getting old.
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window,
took one look and pulled down the shade!
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~~ Sam was born to be a pessimist.
His blood type is B Negative......
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~~ Pete: Is this a good lake for fish?
Gus: It must be terrific.......
I can't get any of them to come out.
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~~ "This house," said the real estate salesman,
"has both its good points and its bad points.
To show you I'm honest, I'm going to tell you about both.
The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block
south and a slaughterhouse a block north."
"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.
"The advantage is that you can always tell which way the wind
is blowing."
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~~ After hearing a description of my automobile's problems,
the mechanic said, "Offhand, I'd say it's going to cost you plenty.
Of course, that's only an estimate."
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~~ A mother found her young son sitting quietly in front of their
brand-new living-room clock.
He said that he was waiting for his grandpa.
She asked him why and he said, "If cuckoos come out of cuckoo
clocks, then grandfathers must come out of grandfather clocks!"
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~~ "My doctor tells me I suffer from extreme hypochondria.
He prescribed a strong placebo, but I don't think it's working.".
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~~ "Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare.
They are consumed in twelve minutes.
Half-times take twelve minutes.
This is not coincidence."
--Erma Bombeck
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~~ Buck came back to the dealer from whom he bought a new Jeep.
"I believe you gave me a guarantee with my Jeep," he said.
"That’s right, sir," the salesman answered.
"During the warranty period we will replace anything that breaks."
"Fine, I need a new garage door."
.
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Todays Thought: We often see further through a tear, than through a telescope.
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