We're having a nice one weather wise.....
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Astronaut Robert Satcher uses a digital still camera to take a
self-portrait during the STS-129 mission's first spacewalk.
During the six-hour, 37-minute spacewalk.......
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I guess I need a Shave!!
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A 1920's lady....
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I hate that....Why I don't walk barefoot in the yard....
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Shoplifting don't pay......Bubba.
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No! that's nothing to laff at....
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What Can I say??
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Oh No not that!! You an't right!
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♥♥♥
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~~ Chuck: I have the body of an athlete.
Gus: Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape.
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~~ A customer called our rental store to ask about rectangular
tables.
I told him we had six-foot and eight-foot tables.
His response: "What's the difference?"
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~~ One Wednesday eve, I invited my son, Alex, for the weekend
and suggested he ask his friend Steve to join us.
This email exchange between the boys soon followed:
"My mom wants to know if we're still on for Friday night.
She's looking forward to our visit...... Signed, Alex."
"Sounds good. I'll stop eating now.... Signed, Steve."
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~~ Our daughter's condo was the target of a break-in.
The following morning in church one of her girlfriends came
running to her, gave her a big hug, then told her,
"You need to either get married or get yourself a pit bull."
A middle-aged usher offered his advice: "Get the pit bull!"
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~~ A few nights ago a few friends and I were in a bar,
telling all the Polish jokes we knew.
Anyway, I ducked into the restroom to sprinkle the old porcelain.
While I was in there, this big guy came in and said to me,
"Hey pal, I'm Polish and I don't like you telling all those Polish jokes."
So I said, "Well, they're not against you, pal, just against anyone
in Poland."
"My mother is in Poland!" he screams and pulls out a razor.
Boy was I scared!!
I was sure he would have killed me if he had found a place to
plug it in!
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~~There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too
old to ignore and too young to kick.
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~~ Some things are hard to grasp.
Where do square fish come from so that fast-food outlets
can make square fish sandwiches?
Why do we play a round of golf, but we square dance?
Why does a business have to tell the truth about his product,
but politicians can lie about each other?
Why does a can of dog food have more nutritional information
on it than a jar of baby food?
Why are women's size 6 shoes smaller than a man's size 6 shoe?
Why do British drivers drive on the left side of the road and
most others drivers in the world drive on the right side?
Why does it "rain cats and dogs" and not "catfish and bass"?
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~~ A hole had been found in the wall in the ladies changing
room in one of the big departmental stores -
the police are "looking into it".
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~~ Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf has for men.
Mary: TELL me about it!
I went golfing with my husband one time, and he told me I asked
too many questions!
Jill: Well, I'm sure you were just trying to understand the game.
What questions did you ask?
Mary: I thought I asked legitimate questions..like,
"Why did you hit the ball into the trees?"
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~~ The city is not a concrete jungle, it is a human zoo.
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~~ A man stops a stranger on the street and asks,
"How do you get to Carnegie Hall?"
"Practice!" the stranger answers.
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~~ One day a studio usher knocked on the door of actress
Ethel Barrymore's Hollywood dressing room.
"A couple of gals in the reception room, Miss Barrymore,
who say they went to school with you," she announced.
"What shall I do?"
Barrymore's reply? "Wheel them in."
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~~There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old
to ignore and too young to kick.
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Todays Thought: You know you're getting older when pillowcase lines on,
your face last until it's time foryour afternoon nap.
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