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A nice Sun Rise this Morning...a cool 47º.......
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This mornings breakfast,..Ham and cheese Zip-lock Omlet...
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Okay....What now??
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No, I didn't use these bad boys for breakfast....
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Plumbers mail box??.... Just what you need, "Chuck".....
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Cool prank.....huh?
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Oh, My.......
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Wanna buy Madoff's Yacht??
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MAD COW??
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This guy had a nice time carving this bike....
It don't run,..so I guess I gotta walk....
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♥♥♥
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~~ What happens if a queen gives birth to a pair of Siamese twins?
Who gets to be king? .
~~ Because 3-year-old Wyatt was misbehaving, his mother
scolded him and said, "If you don't behave, you aren't going to
get that bike you want."
Wyatt put his hands on his hips and snapped back,
"That's okay,' cuz Grandma will buy it for me then."
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~~ "What's your handicap these days?" one golfer asked his
companion.
"I'm a scratch golfer...I write down all my good scores and
scratch out all the bad ones."
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~~ One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to
others.
.
~~ Short and baby-faced, my buddy Wiggins had trouble being
taken seriously in the Army.
A mustache, he assumed, would fix that. He was wrong.
"Wiggins!" bellowed our drill instructor after spotting the
growth during inspection.
"What's so special about your nose that it's got to be underlined?"
.
~~ What kind of camper would you get if you crossed a porcupine
and a young goat?
A stuck-up kid.
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~~ At the school where my mother worked,
the two first-grade teachers were named Miss Paine and
Mrs. Hacking.
One morning the mother of a student called in the middle of a
flu epidemic to excuse her daughter from school.
"Is she in Paine or Hacking?" the school secretary asked.
"She feels fine," said the confused mom.
"We have company and I'm just keeping her home."
.
~~ To pass the time while our plane was being de-iced,
the flight attendants played a trivia game with the passengers.
They asked us to guess the total number of years the three of
them had worked for the airlines.
After an attendant collected our estimates, we heard the
announcement:
"The correct answer is 26 years.
For the two people who came closest with 28 years,
we have prizes.
And for the passenger in seat 12F who guessed 85 years,
would you please step off the plane once we are airborne."
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~~ "So, your mother says your prayers for you each night?
Very commendable.
What does she say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank Heaven he's asleep!"
.
~~ Harold and Gertrude had been married for fifty years and
played golf together every Saturday.
One day while out on the course, Harold said to Gertrude,
"Honey, there has been something bothering me all these
years that I'd like to get off my chest before I die.
You remember when we were first married and I had that
pretty young secretary working for me?
Well, I had an affair with her.
But it was only one time, that was many years ago and I
have been faithful to you ever since."
Gertrude replied, "Harold, there is something bothering me
which I need to tell you.
Three years before I met you, I had a sex change operation."
Harold was visibly shaken and could only reply,
"Honey, how could you have never told me this?...
and all these years you've been hitting from the ladies tees!!"
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~~ A youngster asked his Sunday school teacher,
"Do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?
The teacher said, "I imagine he did."
The kid asked, "With only two worms?"
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~~ For the first time, my husband was playing charades.
He indicated he was going to act out one word, held up his hand and
fluttered his fingers while moving his arm down.
"Rain!" I called out.
He shook his head no and went on to other pantomimes of his word.
I gave up and took the word card from his hand.
There, written in large letters, was the word reign.
Puzzled, I said, "But Adam, why did you say I was wrong?"
"It wasn't spelled right," he explained.
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Todays Thought: You can always tell when a person is well informed. Their views are pretty much like your own.
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