Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning....Friends and neighbors.....
Hope you all have a great day....................
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Chatting over the fence....or is it gossip?

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Yep....I'm weird......

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Clean out the bowl.........

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Walking the dog??......won't he get tired??

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Never liked baby sitting.........

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Yep...they be big...... Here you gotta watch out for Deer.....

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Damn....you BROKE it.....

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I don't believe it..............................

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Eno is funny.......

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♥♥♥

~~ Sean got home in the early hours of the morning after a

night at the local pub.
He made such a racket hitting into the furniture as he weaved his
way through the house, that he woke up the missus.
"What on earth are you doing down there?" she yelled down
from the bedroom.
"Get yourself up here to bed and don't waken the neighbours."
"I'm trying to get a barrel of Guinness up the stairs" he shouted.
"Leave it 'till the morning" she shouted down
"I can't" he said "I've drunk it!".

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~~ A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.
Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people
describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical
advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer,
"What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice
when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the
bills.
When he went to place them in his mailbox,
he found a bill from the lawyer.

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~~ A letter I received from my son stationed in Baghdad:
Yesterday I was part of a security detail for Kid Rock,
Kellie Pickler, and comedian Lewis Black.
This morning, I had breakfast with the Miami Dolphins
Cheerleaders.
War is hell.
Johnny........

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~~ Two 80 year old men are driving down the road when they
hear the Ex-Lax commercial end with the statement:
"It makes you feel young again."
John looks at Sylvester and says, "We need to pull over and get
a bottle of that stuff!"
Sylvester agrees and the two old men pull over and get a bottle
of Ex-Lax.
They both take two tablespoons each and continue to drive.
About one mile later Sylvester asks, "Well John, do you feel
young yet?"...................."No," replies John.
So they pull over and take four more tablespoons a piece and
continue to drive down the road.
A couple of miles later, Sylvester asks, "John, do you feel younger?"
"No," replies John, "but I sure did a childish thing!"

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~~ The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices.
These companies target the elderly and make them think they
will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any
of it.
The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.

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~~ An accident really uncanny,
Befell an unfortunate granny.
She sat down in a chair
While her false teeth were there,
And bit herself right in the fanny!

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~~ You can send a message around the world in 1/7 of a second;
yet it may take several years to move a simple idea through a
1/4 inch of human skull.

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~~ While getting dressed one morning, I decided I'd been
spending too much time on my computer:
I caught myself checking the lower right corner of my makeup
mirror to see what time it was.

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~~ A pastor I know of uses a standard liturgy for funerals.
To personalize each service, he enters a “find and replace”
command into his word processor.
The computer then finds the name of the deceased from the
previous funeral and replaces it with the name of the deceased
for the upcoming one.
Not long ago, the pastor told the computer to find the name
“Mary” and replace it with “Edna.”
The next morning, the funeral was going smoothly until the
congregation intoned the Apostles’ Creed.
 “Jesus Christ,” they read from the preprinted program,
“born of the Virgin Edna.”

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~~ "I hear you're really going after the guy who robbed the
bank yesterday."
"You bet. If he wanted to steal, why didn't he work his way up
in the bank like I did!"

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~~ While picnicing on a small island one summer day in 1906,

Ole Evinrude (1877-1934) sped across Lake Michigan in a
rowboat to get some ice cream for his sweetheart, Bessie.
By the time he returned from the ten-mile trip, however,
it had entirely melted.
Thus inspired, Evinrude set to work and soon unveiled...
the outboard motor.

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~~ A fellow took his girlfriend to the movies.
During the previews, she asked him if he would go and buy
her some M&Ms.
When he returned with her candy, she opened the bag,
picked out all the brown ones and threw them away.
"What did you do that for?" he asked her.
"I'm allergic to chocolate!" she replied.
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Todays Thought: "If you open your heart, love opens your mind."