"Witchy"....get well.......
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I don't care how much lipstick.....I still won't kiss a pig.......
.
Now, I might if I had a bunch of these...?
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Cool, cigarette pack art.....
.
See!...Even tankers get into an accident once in awhile....
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Honey...you left the window open, last night.....
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She's saying; Wow! thats a big cat....and fast too!
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The cat's saying get back....I don't wan't to be friends.......
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I don't know about driving this beast.....
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My main man....ENO.
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Well, time for me to bug out....TAXI,, TAXI...
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♥♥♥
~~ Q: What game to mountain climbers like to play?..
A: Height and seek.
.
~~ A young boy couldn't get his new toy helicopter to fly.
When he asked for help, his mother said,
"Use your imagination to make it fly.
You know what that is, right?"
"Yeah," he replied. " It means no batteries."
.
~~ Father : Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach
you anything!
Son : That's why I say she's no good!
.
~~ We were at a car dealer's, shopping for a new car,
when I noticed an older couple admiring the same one I was
looking at.
The husband turned to his wife and said, "Well, you said we
should start enjoying life and spending some of our retirement
money."
"Yes," she replied, "but I was talking about buying a dishwasher!"
.
~~ Sherry said:
When children come in to the doctor's office where I work,
it's my job to weigh and measure them.
After several unsuccessful attempts to get one frightened
three-year-old on the scale, her mother said:
"Honey, Mommy has a scale at home.
Do like I do and stand on it."
Recognition dawned on the child's face and she confidently
stepped on the scale, looked down and exclaimed, "Oh, sh*t!"
.
~~ A teacher was asking her class:
'What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?'
Only one hand shot up.
'Ok, answer, Joan' said the teacher.
''unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and
'illegal' is a sick eagle.'
.
~~ At a recent family gathering, we borrowed a karaoke machine,
and my daughter asked her 90-year-old grandmother what song
she'd like to hear.
Her choice was “Unforgettable” by Nat “King” Cole.
Three of us decided to give it a try.
Afterwards, my daughter wrapped her arms around her
grandmother and said sweetly,
“We sang that because we love you.”
“And I listened because I love you!”
was her grandmother's wry reply.
.
~~ On a sign outside an automotive tire shop:
"Our work is tiring, but we do take brakes."
.
~~ Gus to family climbing out of the car:
"Well, we finally found a parking space.
Does anyone remember why we're here?"
.
~~ Just after I had been appointed a municipal court judge,
a friend and I were traveling to the Pocono Mountains for
the weekend.
When we stopped at a turnpike rest area to purchase supplies,
a stranger came up to us and tried to sell me a watch.
"Look, chum," my friend said, pointing at me,
"this fellow gives time, he doesn't buy it."
.
~~ Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your
nose at a friendly level.
.
~~ "There are two types of cells," explained our tenth grade
biology teacher.
"If the body cells are called somatic cells,
what do you suppose the cells are called that are involved
in reproduction?"
A voice called out, "Romantic cells?"
.
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Todays Thought: Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers.
1 comment:
check out "ocean-ratz" on this blogspot
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