Down Hummingbird Lane

Weird weather This Morning....Friends....
Very warm and sprinkles of rain....t-storms later....
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Well. the weekends here and this is what i feel like doing......

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People don't like getting stung too...Stay outta the honey pot.....

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I'd run too........

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Thats cool......

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Your not gonna get his parking space......

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You don't know what will happen eating mushrooms....

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Might make you act like this fellow,....or worst........

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Now thats gonna leave a mark.....looks like #72 is gonna run over him..

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Well, time to haul outta here.....

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♥♥♥

~~ Sign in a flower garden: "Love 'em and leave 'em."

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~~ The RN went in to check the condition of one of her
pediatric patients who was having constipation due to his pain
medications.
As the nurse entered the room, the seven-year-old patient
shouted, "I did it, I did it. I had a VOWEL movement!"

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~~ Impressed with the porter on the overnight train,
the millionaire offered him a job as his butler.
The porter leaped at the opportunity.
Coming home from his office the first night of the butler's employ,
the millionaire asked his wife how he'd worked out.
"Fine," she said hesitantly, then added, "except for one thing.
He refuses to flush the toilet when the house is standing still."

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~~ What do you say to a ghost with three heads?
Hello, Hello, Hello!

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~~ What is a vampire's favorite type of ship?
A blood vessel.

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~~ My first pastoral ministry was as an assistant pastor to
youth at a large church in the Pennsylvania Dutch country.
In the fall of that first year, an evangelist was having a Saturday
breakfast meeting with our group.
I was anxious for every detail of this event to be flawless and
elegant, so the lay youth workers and I agreed to bring the last
of the fall flowers from our gardens for floral arrangements.
The next morning, I decided to walk to church.
There I was, dressed in a dark suit, a tie, hat and overcoat,
walking down the street at 6:30 a.m. with a bouquet of
chrysanthemums tucked under my arm.
As I strolled along, a car passed me from behind.
Then, as though an afterthought, the driver stopped, backed up,
rolled down the window, gestured to the flowers, and quipped,
"If you're just getting home, buddy,
you'd better take her more than those."

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~~ It began as an innocent game with my toddler son, Alan.
I'd get in the fighter's stance and start shadowboxing.
Jabbing with both fists, I'd say, "One-two, one-two," and he
would imitate me over and over.
I never thought about the consequences of this little exercise
until my wife took our son to a birthday party.
When the boy's mother was handing out noisemakers she
leaned over to Alan and asked, "Would you like one too?"
It took my wife a while to explain her way out of what happened
next.

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~~ The difference between capitalism and communism is that
communism, man exploits man, whereas under capitalism
it's the other way around.

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~~ Iris Benbow, recently widowed, requested the epitaph
'Rest in Peace' on her husband's gravestone.
When Iris later found that he had left all his money to his mistress,
she attempted to get the mason to change the carving.
This proved impossible as the words had been chiselled by a
stonemason and could not be changed.
'In that case,' Iris demanded, 'please add: "Until We Meet Again."'

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~~ Went to the doctor this morning for a checkup.
In looking over his report, I was happy to see he recommended
travel.
In big letters, he had written 'See Nile'.

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~~ There was a fire in my neighborhood, and I arrived just in
time to see firefighters carry one of their men out of the burning
house and lower him to a sitting position on the lawn.
Visibly shaken, he took out a cigarette, lit it and sat there
puffing on it to calm his nerves.
"What happened to that poor guy?" I asked a bystander.
"Smoke inhalation," he replied.

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~~ Bumper sticker on a Buick Riviera with a woman in a
business suit at the wheel:
"Women Who Seek Equality With Men Have No Ambition."
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Todays Thoughts;  Medicine is a great profession, you get a woman
to take off her clothes and then you send her husband the bill.
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