I still trying to get over the weekend.....ha-ha..
.
She's keeping her baby warm.....
.
HEY! Who stole my breakfast??
Damn...can't turn your back for a second.
.
These guys didn't......they still out like a light.....
.
Well, he went some were........
.
Dogs have taken over my bed.......
.
Oh, well...can always go Pig Surfing......
.
Looks like someone had too much.......Overflo??
.
I've never seen a cross like that...thats confusing.....
get your butt run over.......
.
Well, time to bug outta here.....later!!
.
♥♥♥
~~ With the elections drawing ever nearer, we once again go back to the Politicians file.
This story proves that while many criminals are stupid,
so are many voters.
From Sarasota, Florida comes the story of politician
Robert Stein who was running for a seat in the U.S. House of
Representatives from Florida.
He placed a strong second in the Democratic primary with 26
percent of the vote.
This coming even after he revealed that he would soon be
pleading insanity to a charge that he beat up a police officer in
a station house brawl.
He also offered up the Excuse of the Week.
He said a robot was attacking him when he assaulted the cop.
.
~~ The British have driven on the left side of the road ever
since the Roman chariot drivers needed to be quick to meet
the enemy with their sword at the ready in their right hand.
In America, drivers sat on the left because the brakes were
on the left in their covered wagons.
.
~~ IT'S "JAWS" O ME!
After a spate of shark attacks in Australia, the Week asked
its readers to create that country's next tourism slogan.
Here's what they came up with:
1. "What happens off the coast of Australia, stays off the coast
of Australia."
2. "We'll throw another limb on the barbie."
3. "Australia: Disarmingly beautiful."
4. "Our visitors: The other white meat."
5. "Not quite heaven, but you can get there from here."
.
~~ An expectant father paced nervously.
When the doctor passed, he said, "This is my first baby.
I'm so nervous."
The doctor said, "You're nervous! this is my first delivery!"
.
~~ Bobbie received a bill from the hospital for her recent surgery,
and was astonished to see a $900 fee for the anesthesiologist.
She called his office to demand an explanation.
"Is this some kind of mistake?" Bobbie asked when she got the
doctor on the phone.
"No, not at all," the doctor said calmly.
"Well," said Bobbie, "that's awfully costly for knocking someone
out."
"Not at all," replied the doctor. "I knock you out for free.
The 900 dollars is for bringing you back around."
.
~~ Many youngsters aren't even aware that teaching is a job.
Discussing after-school activities, a teacher in Wisconsin told
her first graders.
"When I get home from work, I like to sew."
A boy looked surprised and said, "Where do you work?"
.
~~ A man had posted himself in front of an office building with
a tray of shoelaces.
One executive made it a daily habit to give the unfortunate
a dollar, but he never took the laces.
One day the peddler, on receiving the dollar, tapped his
departing benefactor on the back:
I don't like to complain, sir, but the laces are now two dollars.
.
~~ A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence
at night.
The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred...
"I'll die for you!"
The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye lids and asked,
"How many times?"
.
~~ Under the Rules of Civil Procedure, a deposition can be
used for any purpose.
During a trial, the defendant fell asleep at the counsel table.
The opposing lawyer, obviously not impressed, requested
permission from the court to use the deposition transcript to
wake her opponent's client.
The court, after carefully reviewing the rule, granted the request,
after which the lawyer rolled the transcript up and smacked the
man over the head rousting him from his slumber.
.
~~ Before an important dinner in United Nations circles,
a new maid was cautioned by the hostess, "Remember to
serve from the left of each guest, and to clear the dishes
away from the right. Is that clear?
"Yessum," nodded the maid, "You superstitious or something?"
.
~~ "Mom," said the little girl, "is it alright to say you are going
to water the horse when you are giving him a drink of water!"
"Yes," said her mother, "That is the correct thing to say."
"Well, then I'm going to milk the cat."
.
~~ QUESTION: What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly?
ANSWER: An insect that can find its way around a dark wardrobe..
.
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