Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning.....friends......A little chilly this morning......
but supposed to warm up......
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A nice cloud picture.......

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He's cool......watching Animal planet...........

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Are you wrinkly?......eat more fried food, like fried cookie dough?

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Deep Fried Pepsi?? Deep fried Twinkies or even Deep fried Snickers..?

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Well, they did get away with it for years.....

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High Class indeed, they served Honey Roasted Peanuts.

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I guess he's ate to many of them Honey roasted nuts......

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A green Laptop?......

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May I have this dance, Sweet Lady?.....

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♥♥♥

~~ I'm beginning to question my butcher's accuracy.

The other day a fly landed on his scale.
It weighed four pounds eight ounces!

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~~ A man joins AA, attends a meeting, and disappears.
After backsliding for twenty years he returns for a second
meeting and is greeted with great warmth and affection.
People hug him, kiss him, and overwhelm him with their
friendliness.
He looks at them and says a little puzzled,
"You'd think I'd never been here before!"

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~~ I was proud and excited on my first day of Air Force pilot
training as I walked toward the instruction facility.
From a distance I could see large letters looming over the
entrance: "Through these doors pass the best pilots in the world."
My pride was quickly deflated, however, as I reached the threshold
and read the small, scribbled cardboard sign that had been taped
to the glass by a maintenance worker.
It said "Please use other door."

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~~ If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push- button
finger.  -Frank Lloyd Wright

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~~ As a dentist, I recently tried out a new chocolate-flavored
pumice paste on my patients.
No one liked it except for a six- year-old boy.
While I polished his teeth, he continued to smile and lick his lips.
"You must really like this new flavor," I said.
"Yep," he replied, nodding with satisfaction.
"It tastes just like the time I dropped my candy bar in the sandbox."

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~~ "How's it going?" I asked a regular customer as she stepped
into the coffee shop.
"Not great," she answered..... "I'm looking for a new job."
"What happened to the one at the spice factory?"
"Oh, that," she said. "It was just seasonal."

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~~ Problems with my laptop required calling the dreaded company
help line.
The service rep, based in another country, did not speak English
very well.
So I tried to explain it as simply as possible:

"I can't get the computer to work."
"Ah, I see," he responded......
"You are unable to transport your computer to your place of
employment."

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~~ Every Catholic church in town but one had its Mass schedule
posted in front.
The exception announced the time weekly bingo started.
I phoned the pastor to complain.
"My son," he replied, "our parishioners know when we hold Mass,
but we have to be sure the Protestants know when we hold bingo."

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~~ When my daughter-in-law and I caught only one perch on
our fishing trip...not enough for even a modest lunch...
we decided to feed it to her two cats.
She put our catch in their dish and watched as the two
pampered pets sniffed at the fish but refused to eat it.
Thinking quickly, my daughter-in-law then picked up the dish,
walked over to the electric can opener, ran it for a few seconds,
then put the fish back down........ The cats dug right in.

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~~ One day British humorist Oliver Herford (1863-1935) was
solemnly asked by a serious young woman whether he really
had no greater ambition than simply making people laugh.
"Oh, yes, I have," he solemnly declared, "and one day I hope
to fulfill it."
"Oh, what is your ambition, Mr. Herford?" the woman asked.
"I would like," he replied, "to throw an egg into an electric a fan."

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~~ Recently my son, and I found ourselves short on time and
looking for a parking space at the mall.
"Angels, we're in a bit of a hurry and would like very much to
find a space near the entrance," I said.
"I don't know about all that, Dad," Patrick said uneasily.
I started to launch into a little sermon about how God always
helps those who ask him, when I saw Patrick's arm shoot out
and point toward the front of the mall.
"Look! A space!" Sure enough, right by the entrance.
As I was pulling in, Patrick wondered whether it was all just
one big coincidence.
"Then again," he said, "maybe it was the angels.
Check that out!"
The license plate on the car across from us read "Amen."

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~~ Gracie Allen, offered $750 a week to appear in one of
Florenz Ziegfeld's famous London shows, asked what might be
offered if her husband and straight man, George Burns,
were included. Ziegfeld's reply? "Five hundred!"
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Todays Thought:  The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
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