Good Morning.....Ready for the week end?
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Some Color, this morning.....
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I got one of these Stick Bugs on my screen, and he's been there for
four days, now....I learned they eat leaves.......
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Just act like nothings stupid.........
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He got tired of waiting.......
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I have been wondering were my cats went too.....
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Sam....What are you doing.....I bet Arty doesn't know.......
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Don't wake him up....
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Shes a cutie...isn't she?...
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Well, I gotta go....I'm next to get my car worked on.....
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♥♥♥
~~ THE OBAMA ECONOMY IS SO BAD...
The Obama economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined
credit card in the mail.
It's so bad, I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind
the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
The economy is so bad that CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
The economy is so bad if the bank returns your check marked
"Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you
or them.
The economy is so bad McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
The economy is so bad a truckload of Americans was caught
sneaking into Mexico.
The economy is so bad Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
The economy is so bad the Mafia is laying off judges.
The economy is so bad Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.
Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being
investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
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~~ Bobbie was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood.
She approached the vendor and asked,
"How much are these oranges?"
"Two for a quarter," answered the vendor.
"How much is just one?" she asked.
"Fifteen cents," answered the vendor.
"Then I'll take the other one," said Bobbie...
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~~ "Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death
with popcorn." (Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen)
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~~ One day Pete walked into a blacksmith shop and picked up
a horseshoe, not realizing that it had just come from the forge.
He immediately dropped it and jammed his hand into his pocket,
trying to act as if nothing had happened.
The blacksmith noticed and asked with a grin,
"Kind of hot, wasn't it?"
"Nope," answered Pete through clenched teeth,
"it just doesn't take me long to look at a horseshoe."
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~~ The successful Hungarian playwright Ferenc Molnar was
living in a Vienna hotel when a large group of relatives came
to visit, hoping he'd share his good fortune with them.
Molnar threw a dinner for them and had a photographer take
a group portrait.
The next day he gave the portrait to the hotel doorman with
instructions that none of the people in the photo ever be
allowed back in.
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~~ A State Police colleague of mine once received a call
from a woman who asked him how to baste a turkey.
After a stunned moment, he, being a fairly good cook,
described the procedure.
Then he asked, "But why would you call the State Police to
find out how to baste a turkey?"
There was only a slight hesitation before she replied,
"Well, you knew, didn't you?" and hung up.
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~~ After teaching a unit on the bubonic plague in my middle-school
social studies class, I asked the students to describe how
society coped with the massive number of dead.
One student wrote: "Some were cremated in huge bonfires
while others were buried in plague pits, with bodies going in
one direction, a layer of lime, then more bodies in another
direction...... It was a lot like making lasagna."
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~~ A class had been studying destruction of the rain forest
and was talking about ways they could help protect the planet.
One boy was particularly proud of his contribution.
He announced, "I got at least seven kids to stop using paper
towels in the bathroom at school!"
The teacher congratulated him, and asked how he had
accomplished such a feat.
"Simple! I just taught them all to wipe their hands on their shirts
like I do!"
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~~ I've learned the same thing about my garden that Adam
and Eve learned about theirs: It's best to follow instructions.
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~~ The wheel of my grocery cart was making a horrible
scraping sound as I rolled it through the supermarket.
Nevertheless, when I finished my shopping and saw a
cartless woman, I offered it up, explaining,
"It makes an awful noise, but it works."
"That's okay," she said, taking it.
"I have a husband at home like that."
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~~ There was a fire in the chorus girls' dressing room in a
Las Vegas hotel.
It took an hour to put out the fire.
It took six to put out the firemen!
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~~ Our neighbor loaned my husband his old chain saw to trim
some tree branches.
Unfortunately, the engine burned out while my husband was
using it.
Not wanting to return a broken piece of equipment,
he bought a new saw to replace it.
When I offered it to our neighbor, he thanked me but said,
"Keep it. I'll borrow it when I need it."
I was turning away when his eyes lit up.
"Hey," he asked, "want to borrow my truck?"
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~~ Recently a young woman came into my insurance office
with her newborn twins.
I asked her if she ever had any trouble telling them apart.
She gave him a funny look before responding,
"No, I haven't had any problem........
This is Charles and this is Alicia."
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Todays Thought; Be careful not to stretch the truth … it may snap back.!
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