We did out best..... Good Morning, everyone.
.
She's letting you know, she did........
He thought that was funny.....He's giving us his horse laff...
The three stooges?....
He don't know what's going on......
He don't know what's going on.......
Time to hang up the clothes to dry........
Time to hang up the clothes to dry.........
Man eater?.......
Man eater?........
Feeding her youngans.......
Feeding her youngans........
Is this a love bite ??...
Is this a love bite ??....
Kind of awkward, riding with a bum leg........ 
Kind of awkward, riding with a bum leg.........
♥♥♥
~~~ In order to alleviate some of her concerns before the flight,
Jess had told his daughter Hannah, six what to expect on her first airplane
ride, including the effects of the pressurized cabin.
She handled the flight well, but as the plane descended on its final approach,
Hannah complained that she couldn't hear very well.
Jess told her to yawn, which she did.
Suddenly she beamed and said in wonder,
"Daddy, when I opened my mouth, my ears turned on!"
.
~~~ James and his four-year-old son Anthony saw a huge chicken at
the petting zoo.
The boy was impressed with the size of the chicken and said,
"He must be the daddy because he's the biggest."
James agreed, adding, "Yeah, and he pecks a lot, too."
As they walked away from the area, Anthony saw a little girl about his age.
He pointed to the big chicken and warned, "Watch out......
There's a really big pecker in there."
.
~~~ If people listened to themselves, they would shut up.....
.
~~~ Donna was an organist.
She related a story to us about a previous wedding in which she and
her husband Burk were participating, with her on organ and him singing.
During rehearsal the audio man at the church asked them to sing and
play so that he could adjust volumes.
They did not have the wedding music with them,
so they began to perform one of the hymns they had practiced for church
the previous week, "He Touched Me."
Just as they started, the preacher walked in and stopped, looking very
surprised.
He had never, ever heard that song chosen for a wedding before.
The opening line of the hymn: "Shackled by a heavy burden..."
.
~~~ One day, the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold
short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed.
The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the
Cherokee.
Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said,
"What a cute little plane.
Did you make it all by yourself?"
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a
real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts.
Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for a second one."
.
~~~ TEACHER: Michael, why are you late for school?
MICHAEL: Well, teacher, I was dreaming about a football game,
and it went into extra time--so I had to see the finish.
.
~~~ COACH: Are you hurt?
FOOTBALL PLAYER (moaning): I think so.
Better call me a doctor.
COACH: Okay, you're a doctor.
.
~~~ I'm a traveling salesman and the lenghthy trips I make can be
very lonely.
When my five-year-old daughter, Jenny gave me a little stuffed penguin
with a hand-painted sign that said, "I love my Dad!"
I started carrying it everywhere.
Through the years, that penguin traveled hundreds of thousands of miles.
Once, at JFK airport in New York, a customs inspector pulled it out of my
suitcase and summed up its meaning:
"That's about the most valuable thing I've seen in all my years on
the job," he said.
Thank God we don't charge tax on love."
.
~~~ Women put a lot of thought into what their butts look like.......
Men aren't even aware of the fact that they have a butt until it starts itching.
.
~~~ A little boy was brought into our emergency room after ingesting
part of a plug-in air freshener.
After consulting Poison Control and monitoring him, the doctor wrote
on his discharge, "Patient doing well.
Ready to go home.......... Smells good."
.
~~~ QUESTION: How do men define a 50-50 relationship?
ANSWER: She cooks I eat, she cleans I dirty, she irons I wrinkle.....
.
~~~ Teacher: "Johnny, you talk a lot !"
Johnny: "It's a family tradition".
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Johnny: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher"
Teacher: "What about your mother?"
Johnny: "She's a woman..."
.
.
Todays thought: An apple a day keeps the doctor away--if it's aimed right.
Jess had told his daughter Hannah, six what to expect on her first airplane
ride, including the effects of the pressurized cabin.
She handled the flight well, but as the plane descended on its final approach,
Hannah complained that she couldn't hear very well.
Jess told her to yawn, which she did.
Suddenly she beamed and said in wonder,
"Daddy, when I opened my mouth, my ears turned on!"
.
~~~ James and his four-year-old son Anthony saw a huge chicken at
the petting zoo.
The boy was impressed with the size of the chicken and said,
"He must be the daddy because he's the biggest."
James agreed, adding, "Yeah, and he pecks a lot, too."
As they walked away from the area, Anthony saw a little girl about his age.
He pointed to the big chicken and warned, "Watch out......
There's a really big pecker in there."
.
~~~ If people listened to themselves, they would shut up.....
.
~~~ Donna was an organist.
She related a story to us about a previous wedding in which she and
her husband Burk were participating, with her on organ and him singing.
During rehearsal the audio man at the church asked them to sing and
play so that he could adjust volumes.
They did not have the wedding music with them,
so they began to perform one of the hymns they had practiced for church
the previous week, "He Touched Me."
Just as they started, the preacher walked in and stopped, looking very
surprised.
He had never, ever heard that song chosen for a wedding before.
The opening line of the hymn: "Shackled by a heavy burden..."
.
~~~ One day, the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold
short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed.
The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the
Cherokee.
Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said,
"What a cute little plane.
Did you make it all by yourself?"
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a
real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts.
Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for a second one."
.
~~~ TEACHER: Michael, why are you late for school?
MICHAEL: Well, teacher, I was dreaming about a football game,
and it went into extra time--so I had to see the finish.
.
~~~ COACH: Are you hurt?
FOOTBALL PLAYER (moaning): I think so.
Better call me a doctor.
COACH: Okay, you're a doctor.
.
~~~ I'm a traveling salesman and the lenghthy trips I make can be
very lonely.
When my five-year-old daughter, Jenny gave me a little stuffed penguin
with a hand-painted sign that said, "I love my Dad!"
I started carrying it everywhere.
Through the years, that penguin traveled hundreds of thousands of miles.
Once, at JFK airport in New York, a customs inspector pulled it out of my
suitcase and summed up its meaning:
"That's about the most valuable thing I've seen in all my years on
the job," he said.
Thank God we don't charge tax on love."
.
~~~ Women put a lot of thought into what their butts look like.......
Men aren't even aware of the fact that they have a butt until it starts itching.
.
~~~ A little boy was brought into our emergency room after ingesting
part of a plug-in air freshener.
After consulting Poison Control and monitoring him, the doctor wrote
on his discharge, "Patient doing well.
Ready to go home.......... Smells good."
.
~~~ QUESTION: How do men define a 50-50 relationship?
ANSWER: She cooks I eat, she cleans I dirty, she irons I wrinkle.....
.
~~~ Teacher: "Johnny, you talk a lot !"
Johnny: "It's a family tradition".
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Johnny: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher"
Teacher: "What about your mother?"
Johnny: "She's a woman..."
.
.
Todays thought: An apple a day keeps the doctor away--if it's aimed right.
.
Ah, what a great way to start off the day...laughing! Love the pilot joke.
ReplyDeleteHope it's a good day for you,
Suzzie