.
This Mornings Sunrise......... Calling for showers today...
.
She's trying to give us a lick........
.
.
.
.
.
♥♥♥
~~~ Bobbie wasn't taking any chances.
Prior to her operation, she taped notes to her body for the surgeon:
"Take your time,"...
"Don't cut yourself,"...
"No need to rush," ...
"Wash your hands."...
After surgery, as she was helped back into her bed,
she discovered a new note taped to her.
It was from the doctor, "Has anyone seen my wristwatch?"
.
~~~ I tried my hand at golf....
That day I played golf, I was three over.
One over a patio, one over a house, and one over a swimming pool.
.
~~~ "Have you ever met a man whose touch makes you tremble?"
"Yes."
"Wow,...... who was he?"
"A dentist."
.
~~~ Seen in the parking lot of a brand new department store,
painted on the ground at a crosswalk in letters 4 feet tall:
YELD....
Close, but not close enough.
The next week I drove through the same parking lot and found it was
changed.
They had painted an I between the existing letters.
Now it read YEILD.
About two months later they finally fixed it.
The old lettering was painted over with black and freshly painted on top
of that was the word STOP.
.
~~~ There was a politician who refused to listen to his conscience.
He didn't want to take advice from a total stranger.
.
~~~ After she divorced actor Louis Calhern, actress/writer Ilka Chase
found a box of her old calling cards engraved "Mrs Louis Calhern."
No longer needing them, she immediately sent them to Calhern's new wife,
Julia Holt.
"Dear Julia," Chase wrote cattily, "I hope these reach you in time."
.
~~~ After years of being blasted into a net,
the human cannonball went to the circus owner and told him he was
going to retire.
"But you can't!" Shouted the cigar-chomping boss.
"Where am I going to find a man of your caliber?"
.
~~~ Stormy weather diverted our Dallas-bound flight to another airport.
As we approached the runway, the pilot came on the intercom:
"For those of you who are not familiar with the area,
this is Lubbock, Texas."
Then he paused. "And for those of you who are familiar with this area,
I think this is Lubbock, Texas."
.
~~~ "My friend wanted a boat more than anything.
His wife kept refusing, but he bought one anyway.
'I'll tell you what,' he told her.
'In the spirit of compromise, why don't you name the boat?'
Being a good sport, she accepted.
And when her husband went to the dock for his maiden voyage,
this is the name he saw painted on the side: For Sale. "
.
~~~ While on duty as a nurse in the obstetrics department at the hospital,
I was checking a young mother-to-be.
"Is this your first baby?" I asked her.
"Yes," she answered calmly.
"Are you having any contractions or pressure?" I continued.
"No," she stated.
"Are you having any discomfort?"
Again the response was no.
Laying my equipment aside, I said,
"Honey, may I ask you why you're here?"
"Today is my due date!" she replied happily.
.
~~~ During the debate, a candidate was asked by a lady to name three
mistakes he's made.
The candidate responded, "This debate, the last debate and the next debate."
.
~~~ While I was driving through a seedy area of San Diego,
I noticed that sandwiched between a strip bar and a liquor store sat a
storefront with all the windows suspiciously blacked out.
Over the door was a sign that proudly declared, "Welcome to Kinko's.
We have nothing to do with office supplies."
.
~~~ A new study from the Centers for Disease Control says that tripping
over your pets causes over 86,000 serious injuries each year.
Worse...only 30 percent of those make it to YouTube.
.
~~~ "What kind of idiot do you think I am?"
"I don't know........ What other kind are there?"
.
.
Todays Thought: Money is always there, but the pockets change.
.
Prior to her operation, she taped notes to her body for the surgeon:
"Take your time,"...
"Don't cut yourself,"...
"No need to rush," ...
"Wash your hands."...
After surgery, as she was helped back into her bed,
she discovered a new note taped to her.
It was from the doctor, "Has anyone seen my wristwatch?"
.
~~~ I tried my hand at golf....
That day I played golf, I was three over.
One over a patio, one over a house, and one over a swimming pool.
.
~~~ "Have you ever met a man whose touch makes you tremble?"
"Yes."
"Wow,...... who was he?"
"A dentist."
.
~~~ Seen in the parking lot of a brand new department store,
painted on the ground at a crosswalk in letters 4 feet tall:
YELD....
Close, but not close enough.
The next week I drove through the same parking lot and found it was
changed.
They had painted an I between the existing letters.
Now it read YEILD.
About two months later they finally fixed it.
The old lettering was painted over with black and freshly painted on top
of that was the word STOP.
.
~~~ There was a politician who refused to listen to his conscience.
He didn't want to take advice from a total stranger.
.
~~~ After she divorced actor Louis Calhern, actress/writer Ilka Chase
found a box of her old calling cards engraved "Mrs Louis Calhern."
No longer needing them, she immediately sent them to Calhern's new wife,
Julia Holt.
"Dear Julia," Chase wrote cattily, "I hope these reach you in time."
.
~~~ After years of being blasted into a net,
the human cannonball went to the circus owner and told him he was
going to retire.
"But you can't!" Shouted the cigar-chomping boss.
"Where am I going to find a man of your caliber?"
.
~~~ Stormy weather diverted our Dallas-bound flight to another airport.
As we approached the runway, the pilot came on the intercom:
"For those of you who are not familiar with the area,
this is Lubbock, Texas."
Then he paused. "And for those of you who are familiar with this area,
I think this is Lubbock, Texas."
.
~~~ "My friend wanted a boat more than anything.
His wife kept refusing, but he bought one anyway.
'I'll tell you what,' he told her.
'In the spirit of compromise, why don't you name the boat?'
Being a good sport, she accepted.
And when her husband went to the dock for his maiden voyage,
this is the name he saw painted on the side: For Sale. "
.
~~~ While on duty as a nurse in the obstetrics department at the hospital,
I was checking a young mother-to-be.
"Is this your first baby?" I asked her.
"Yes," she answered calmly.
"Are you having any contractions or pressure?" I continued.
"No," she stated.
"Are you having any discomfort?"
Again the response was no.
Laying my equipment aside, I said,
"Honey, may I ask you why you're here?"
"Today is my due date!" she replied happily.
.
~~~ During the debate, a candidate was asked by a lady to name three
mistakes he's made.
The candidate responded, "This debate, the last debate and the next debate."
.
~~~ While I was driving through a seedy area of San Diego,
I noticed that sandwiched between a strip bar and a liquor store sat a
storefront with all the windows suspiciously blacked out.
Over the door was a sign that proudly declared, "Welcome to Kinko's.
We have nothing to do with office supplies."
.
~~~ A new study from the Centers for Disease Control says that tripping
over your pets causes over 86,000 serious injuries each year.
Worse...only 30 percent of those make it to YouTube.
.
~~~ "What kind of idiot do you think I am?"
"I don't know........ What other kind are there?"
.
.
Todays Thought: Money is always there, but the pockets change.
.
2 comments:
Great stuff today Gus.
:) Suzzie
Ooooooooooo I hope that doesn't/didn't happen to Bobbie lol. She'll get her own back!!!!
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