Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning.......To my forum friends and all the other readers......
Welcome to our little piece of the world.....Sit, laff and enjoy.......
.

She's looking down...waiting for a small critter.....(breakfast)
.

See,..save energy...anyone can change the bulb...... but please wipe your feet..

.

I have no idea......but it looks to be a wild ride......

.

He's cute, but you gotta watch him as he's a thief.....

.

Peeking.....Checking ot the noise........

.

Bad...Bad...............

.

What can you say............

.

Cool...cool....

.

♥♥♥

~~~ Gus stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. "Listen to this," he said to Bobbie, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover." "Yeah,"Bobbie nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too."

. ~~~ Gus: "My mind seems to wander lately. "Bobbie: "Don't worry......... It's too weak to go very far.

. ~~~ Enticed by a television promotion, Bobbie ordered a popular exercise machine on a 30-day trial offer. Two weeks later she decided not to buy it, and called UPS to arrange for pickup. The next day the UPS driver arrived at her house. "Oh, no, not another one of these," he said. "All I've been doing is delivering these machines, then picking them up. The only person getting exercise from these things is me!"

. ~~~ A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.

. ~~~ The following are ways to determine whether a truck is company owned: 1. Company trucks travel faster in all gears. 2. They accelerate much faster than personal trucks, leaving tire marks on pavement. 3. They enjoy a much shorter braking distance, leaving more tire marks. 4. They can take bumps at twice the speed of private trucks. 5. Company trucks normally require oil changes at 100,000 mile intervals. 6. Their floors are shaped like ash trays, and accommodate milk cartons, coke bottles, leftover food, and paper wrappers. 7. They can be driven 100 miles or more with the oil pressure light flashing. 8. They are adapted to allow the transmission to be shifted into reverse while going forward at 20 mph. 9. Their tire walls are designed for bumping into and over curbs. 10. Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by turning the radio volume up. 11. Company trucks are not designed to be washed or waxed or to retain hubcaps. 12. All company trucks have many dents in the body, inflicted by a mysterious person called "not me".

. ~~~ The terrified parents rushed their four-year- old son, Ben, to the emergency room with a terrible cough, high fever, and vomiting. The doctor did a thorough exam, then asked Ben what bothered him the most. After thinking it over, Ben said hoarsely, "I would have to say my little sister."

. ~~~ A doctor told Mrs. Martin to give her husband one pill a day and one drink of whiskey to improve his stamina. A month later, when Mrs. Martin came in for another visit, the doctor asked, "How are we doing with the pill and the whiskey?"Mrs Martin answered, "Well, he's a little behind with the pills, but he's about six months ahead with the whiskey."

. ~~~ A would-be writer sent playwright George S. Kaufman the manuscript for his book, hoping the famous man would use his influence to get it published. Kaufman was surprised to find the manuscript filled with spelling and grammar mistakes. He wrote back, "I'm not very good at it myself, but the first rule about spelling is that there is only one z in is.

. ~~~ In Maine, it is illegal for a Police Officer to tell a person to have a nice day after pulling that person over in a car and issuing them a ticket.

. ~~~ The painter James McNeill Whistler was cornered by a society snob, who asked him, "Whatever possessed you to be born in a place like Lowell, Massachusetts?" "I wished to be near my mother," Whistler explained.

. ~~~ Soup not only warms you and is easy to swallow and to digest, it also creates the illusion in the back of your mind that Mother is there.

. ~~~ We accompanied our son and his fiancee when they met with her priest to sign some pre-wedding ceremony papers. While filling out the form, our son read aloud a few questions. When he got to the last one which read "Are you entering this marriage at your own will?" He looked over at this fiancee........"Put down 'yes'" she said.

. ~~~ My eight-year-old daughter and I were listening to the radio when a commercial for a weight-loss program came on. The woman in the ad proudly announced that she had lost six inches using the program. My daughter looked at me, puzzled. "Why would anyone want to be shorter?"

. ~~~ A producer is smitten by a beautiful but less than brilliant young actress. He asks for her hand in marriage. She doesn't quite grasp what he's saying. He adds, "You don't understand. I want you to be the mother of my children. "The actress asks, "Really?......... How many do you have?"

. ~~~ "If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the past 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers. The firearm death rate in Washington, DC is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period. That means you are about 25 percent more likely to be shot and killed in the US capital, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the US, than you are in Iraq..Conclusion: "The US should pull out of Washington. "

. ..Today's Thought: The problem with telephones is that they never nap when you do..