Rain the rest of the week......
.
What can I say?..........
Three-year-old chocolate labrador Lawrence tries a new range of luxury ice cream which has been developed just for dogs..................
.
Yah....thats a pretty baby, Mom...................
Yah....thats a pretty baby, Mom....................
Yep, brush your teeth.........
Yep, brush your teeth..........
Clinging on for dear life this poor baby elephant was eventually rescued after spending three hours trapped down a manhole in Thailand...
Clinging on for dear life this poor baby elephant was eventually rescued after spending three hours trapped down a manhole in Thailand....
fact; these dogs live in the Philippines, and were born without front legs.....
fact; these dogs live in the Philippines, and were born without front legs......
This rose was dyed using hypodermic needles inserted in the stem as it grew......
This rose was dyed using hypodermic needles inserted in the stem as it grew.......
♥♥♥
The nursing student, on her first rotation in the ICU, had to give a patient a full bed bath.
She had never given one before and was terribly nervous about it.
To make matters worse, the patient was a gentleman in his late sixties who had been admitted after a heart attack.
As se nervously set her equipment up, she confessed to the patient that she had never given a full bed bath before.
"I'll tell you what," he said, "how about if you wash as far down as possible, and as far up as possible, and then I'll wash possible?"
.
~~~ Gus; “Last week a grain of sand got in my wife’s eye.
We had to go to a doctor...... It cost me $200.”
Pete; “That’s nothing.
Last week a fur coat got in my wife’s eye and it cost me $5,000.”
.
~~~ Grandma was making her very first flight aboard a plane from L.A. to New York.
They had only been in the air for a few minutes when she complained to the stewardess that her ears were popping.
The girl smiled and gave her some chewing gum, assuring her that many people experienced the same discomfort.
When they landed in New York, Grandma thanked the stewardess.
"The chewing gum worked fine," she said, "but tell me this...how do I get it out of my ears?"
.
~~~ Henpecked husband over the phone: “Doctor, my wife just dislocated her jaw.
If you are in the neighbourhood sometimes next week, could you pop over and see her?”
.
~~~ After passing his driver's test, my grandson was asked to sign up to be an organ donor. Unsure, he turned to his father and asked, "Will it affect my football playing?"
.
~~~ While I was paying for my items in a local store, the man behind me laid his purchases on the counter.
Among them was a large, flowery birthday card with "To my wonderful wife" printed on the front.
The clerk said, "You've chosen our biggest and prettiest card."
The man nodded sadly and replied, "One day late."
.
~~~ OFFICE SIGN;"In case of fire, leave the building with the same reckless abandon that you do at quitting time."
.
~~~ While leading activities for seniors at a nursing home, I asked my group to complete well-known phrases.
For example, I would prompt them with, "Better safe" to which they would respond, "Than sorry."
The game proceeded as expected until I got to the phrase "Make love, not war."
I had barely gotten out the first two words when a ninety-year-old man shouted from the back, "while you can"
.
~~~~ I think the dilemma of being a thirteen-year girl is best summed up by a book I've heard about, titled something like... "I hate you and I wish You Would Die, but First Can You Drive Me to the Mall?"
.
~~~ I returned from Russia after living there nearly two years.
My sister decided to surprise me by creating "welcome home" signs in Russian.
She went to a website that offered translations and typed in "Welcome Home, Cole."
She then printed the translated phrase onto about 20 coloured cardboard signs.
When I got off the plane, the first thing I saw was my family excitedly waving posters printed with a strange message.
My sister gave me a big hug, and pointed proudly to her creations.
"Isn't that great?" she said....... "Bet you didn't think I knew any Russian."
I admitted that I was indeed surprised and so was she when I told her what the signs actually said: "Translation not found."
.
~~~ "Always remember, money isn't everything...but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense."
or: Money can't buy happiness, but it can help you look for it quicker, in a convertible.
.
~~~ The church choir was putting on a car wash to raise money to pay their expenses for a special trip.
They made a large sign, 'CAR WASH FOR CHOIR TRIP', and on the given Saturday business was very good.
But by two o'clock the skies clouded and the rain poured and there were hardly any customers.
Finally, one of the girl washers had an idea.
She printed a very large poster which said, 'WE WASH (then an arrow pointing skyward)...GOD RINSES'.Business boomed!
.
~~~ Rushing to get ready for work in the morning, Fran said to her sixteen-year old son Drake, "When you come home from school, put the casserole in at 350 so it's ready by the time I get back."
He said, "I can't do that, Mom."
She asked. "Why not?"
Drake replied, "I won't be home until 4:30."
.
~~~ Yogi Berra, famous baseball catcher, was notorious for swinging at bad pitching.
One day he reached for three wild ones in succession and struck out.
Muttering in disbelief, he mumbled to nobody in particular, "How does a pitcher like that ever stay in the league?"
.
~~~ CATS ARE WONDERFUL FRIENDS...
Gentle eyes that see so much,
paws that have the quiet touch,
Purrs to signal "all is well"and show,
more love than words could tell.
Graceful movements touched with pride,
a calming presence by our side.
A friendship that takes time to grow.
Small wonder why we love them so.
.
.
Todays Thought; Is your prayer well done or rare?
.
She had never given one before and was terribly nervous about it.
To make matters worse, the patient was a gentleman in his late sixties who had been admitted after a heart attack.
As se nervously set her equipment up, she confessed to the patient that she had never given a full bed bath before.
"I'll tell you what," he said, "how about if you wash as far down as possible, and as far up as possible, and then I'll wash possible?"
.
~~~ Gus; “Last week a grain of sand got in my wife’s eye.
We had to go to a doctor...... It cost me $200.”
Pete; “That’s nothing.
Last week a fur coat got in my wife’s eye and it cost me $5,000.”
.
~~~ Grandma was making her very first flight aboard a plane from L.A. to New York.
They had only been in the air for a few minutes when she complained to the stewardess that her ears were popping.
The girl smiled and gave her some chewing gum, assuring her that many people experienced the same discomfort.
When they landed in New York, Grandma thanked the stewardess.
"The chewing gum worked fine," she said, "but tell me this...how do I get it out of my ears?"
.
~~~ Henpecked husband over the phone: “Doctor, my wife just dislocated her jaw.
If you are in the neighbourhood sometimes next week, could you pop over and see her?”
.
~~~ After passing his driver's test, my grandson was asked to sign up to be an organ donor. Unsure, he turned to his father and asked, "Will it affect my football playing?"
.
~~~ While I was paying for my items in a local store, the man behind me laid his purchases on the counter.
Among them was a large, flowery birthday card with "To my wonderful wife" printed on the front.
The clerk said, "You've chosen our biggest and prettiest card."
The man nodded sadly and replied, "One day late."
.
~~~ OFFICE SIGN;"In case of fire, leave the building with the same reckless abandon that you do at quitting time."
.
~~~ While leading activities for seniors at a nursing home, I asked my group to complete well-known phrases.
For example, I would prompt them with, "Better safe" to which they would respond, "Than sorry."
The game proceeded as expected until I got to the phrase "Make love, not war."
I had barely gotten out the first two words when a ninety-year-old man shouted from the back, "while you can"
.
~~~~ I think the dilemma of being a thirteen-year girl is best summed up by a book I've heard about, titled something like... "I hate you and I wish You Would Die, but First Can You Drive Me to the Mall?"
.
~~~ I returned from Russia after living there nearly two years.
My sister decided to surprise me by creating "welcome home" signs in Russian.
She went to a website that offered translations and typed in "Welcome Home, Cole."
She then printed the translated phrase onto about 20 coloured cardboard signs.
When I got off the plane, the first thing I saw was my family excitedly waving posters printed with a strange message.
My sister gave me a big hug, and pointed proudly to her creations.
"Isn't that great?" she said....... "Bet you didn't think I knew any Russian."
I admitted that I was indeed surprised and so was she when I told her what the signs actually said: "Translation not found."
.
~~~ "Always remember, money isn't everything...but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense."
or: Money can't buy happiness, but it can help you look for it quicker, in a convertible.
.
~~~ The church choir was putting on a car wash to raise money to pay their expenses for a special trip.
They made a large sign, 'CAR WASH FOR CHOIR TRIP', and on the given Saturday business was very good.
But by two o'clock the skies clouded and the rain poured and there were hardly any customers.
Finally, one of the girl washers had an idea.
She printed a very large poster which said, 'WE WASH (then an arrow pointing skyward)...GOD RINSES'.Business boomed!
.
~~~ Rushing to get ready for work in the morning, Fran said to her sixteen-year old son Drake, "When you come home from school, put the casserole in at 350 so it's ready by the time I get back."
He said, "I can't do that, Mom."
She asked. "Why not?"
Drake replied, "I won't be home until 4:30."
.
~~~ Yogi Berra, famous baseball catcher, was notorious for swinging at bad pitching.
One day he reached for three wild ones in succession and struck out.
Muttering in disbelief, he mumbled to nobody in particular, "How does a pitcher like that ever stay in the league?"
.
~~~ CATS ARE WONDERFUL FRIENDS...
Gentle eyes that see so much,
paws that have the quiet touch,
Purrs to signal "all is well"and show,
more love than words could tell.
Graceful movements touched with pride,
a calming presence by our side.
A friendship that takes time to grow.
Small wonder why we love them so.
.
.
Todays Thought; Is your prayer well done or rare?
.
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